I went to grab coffee with one of my best friends the other day and for the first time in, well, forever, I had zero mama guilt.
Zero.
I was enjoying the catch up session with my friend for over two hours and not once did I feel guilty for being away, taking time for myself, and allowing my husband to manage the house and the kids all by himself.
When my husband texted me that my youngest woke up from her nap, I had zero guilt that I was gone. I had no desire or need to end the conversation and go home; I was 100% content with not being home and allowing my husband to handle the goings on at home.
Maybe you’ve felt the same guilt that I’ve described here.
When it was time for me to go home it wasn’t because the kids needed me, my husband needed me, or that I felt like they needed me. I went home because I was ready to go home.
I cannot remember the last time when I left someplace to go home with it NOT being about taking care of the kids.
Honestly, as a mother, I don’t know if this has ever happened.
When I did go home I noticed that feeling inside of me. That feeling of zero guilt about being gone, about enjoying time to myself, and about feeling completely content and satisfied that I was without kids.
I even shared this feeling with my husband, that, for the first time in forever, I went on a coffee date with a friend and felt not a single ounce of guilt for being away.
I love my kids, I love my little people, but I have also come to learn and realize that time to myself shouldn’t bring on the feelings of guilt.
This is a new growth and maturity that I’ve stepped into.
I deserve to spend time alone, without kids, without the husband. I owe it to myself – and let’s be truthful, to my family as well – to have this alone time without them to fuel up and recharge.
It’s good for them to be without mom, it’s good for my husband to parent without me, and it’s good for me to have time to myself.
So how did I get here? How did I get to this beautiful moment of feeling no mama guilt?
Well, it’s not as pretty as you would think.
What got me to this place was a lot of struggle. A lot of pushing, pushing, pushing and going, going, going.
I don’t stop, I haven’t stopped, and with some other unpleasant life circumstances piling up on top of me all at once, here I found myself at my breaking point.
God uses these moments that feel like our weakest to build us up and make us stronger than ever. I believe that is what God was doing to me here.
Being emotionally, mentally, and physically drained and exhausted, all I had left was to take care of myself at that moment. That’s all I could do. To simply go grab coffee with a friend and feel zero percent mama guilt.
Sometimes we break down so that we can be built back up stronger. Maybe that was the point all along.
So when I say that I get you, I feel you, I understand you in this season of motherhood, it’s 100% true. I feel what you feel. I experience the same emotions that you experience. I struggle in the same way that you struggle.
Know that you’re not alone. I’ve felt that mama guilt, too.
