To my grown kids. There are some things I’d like to tell you, a few confessions I’d like to get off my chest, just so you know.
- I prayed for you while I was still a child myself. Before I even knew how babies happened, I prayed that God would give me children when I grew up. He gave me you.
2. Every second of every pregnancy was a blessing. Even when I was so sick I couldn’t make out the grocery list without getting nauseous. Even when my emotions were all over the place, and I felt like the Goodyear blimp, and I had to give up caffeine, and I couldn’t see my feet much less reach them.
3. I gave up a career that I loved to stay home and be your mom because I loved you more. And I never looked back. Just so you know.
4. It almost killed me to drop you off at school the first time. But I was so excited for the new adventure you were starting. I knew you were ready and I was so proud of you. Watching you run into the building did my heart good and I smiled through my tears.
5. I made you do chores, and do them right, because I wanted you to be prepared for life and because I wanted you to appreciate all the work it takes to keep a household running. I also wanted you to appreciate the one/ones who did it for you because you’d know it wasn’t always easy or fun.
6. I paid attention to you. I wanted to know what you liked, what you disliked, what you were good at, and what you wanted to be good at but felt like you’d never get the hang of. Because I wanted to know you. And, because I wanted to encourage you, and help you learn to see yourself as the amazing person you are, even if you couldn’t turn a cartwheel, or hop on your left foot, or make first string every time–or ever. You are “fearfully and wonderfully made” and you are so loved and I wanted you to know it.
7. Just so you know, I always had your back. Even though I made you go to the teacher or coach when you felt things were unfair or overwhelming, I stood behind you–and sometimes intervened– but I wanted you to take the lead. I wanted you to learn how to handle difficult situations. Life isn’t easy and oftentimes people are unfair. I wanted you to be prepared to deal with that, to be strong, but to learn to handle even difficult people with gentleness and respect.
8. Handing you the car keys was the hardest thing I’d ever done as a mom up to that point. Suddenly, you were out of my reach, at the mercy of dangerous situations, and with a new freedom. I knew we’d trained you well, both to drive and to make good choices, but suddenly it was up to you and I wouldn’t be there to guide you. You did good. We trusted you and you proved worthy of that trust.
9. High school graduation was even harder than handing you the keys. The whole world was before you and even though I knew you were ready, I was going to miss you more than you could even imagine. I’d never hold you back from your dreams, and I’d always support you as you pursued them, but it felt like open heart surgery without anesthesia, bitter sweet, and I was so very proud of you for the person you were becoming.
10. I still pray for you. Every moment, every day, every heartbeat. I pray for your understanding. I pray you will be a person of integrity, humility, and character. I pray you will forgive others when they wrong you, when they let you down, and when they don’t deserve it. And, I pray you will forgive me because, like you, I’m a work in progress and I’m learning too. And just so you know, I will always pray for you.
Just a few things I’d like to confess now that you’re all grown up. I imagine there’s nothing here you hadn’t already suspected, but I wanted to make sure to leave no doubt. Just so you know.
Love,
Mom
Blessings!
