Many people wonder what it’s like to have kids close in age. I wanted to share some of the benefits of this situation for those that are thinking about having kids close together or are already raising them. Our younger four kids were born within a 3.5-year span. The gaps between their births were 10 months, 13 months, and 18 months, respectively. Those baby years were challenging, to be sure. With our youngest turning three this fall, they are now much more developmentally similar. They see themselves as a unit, and it enhances our family in many ways.
Relationships
They are each other’s best friends. They move fluidly from playing independently to teaming up with one or more siblings in the course of a day. One of the greatest benefits to me as a parent of having kids close in age is that they play well together. Occasionally they ask me or their dad to play with them, but, for the most part, they are content with their built-in playmates. I really enjoy watching them interact as they learn how to negotiate, cooperate, and even stand up for themselves. I also do a fair amount of refereeing, counseling, and coaching interactions, but that’s to be expected. I’m really glad that I no longer have to be hypervigilant about a baby being mishandled by a sibling!
Sharing
The boys share a room, as do the girls, and that is working well for now. I’ve found it interesting that the boys seem to go to sleep easily and are early risers while the girls take longer to wind down and are more likely to sleep in. I’m not sure which one of each pair influenced the other, or if they are just wired in the same way. While they have their favorite toys, they share them all other than a few special stuffed animals. Clothes are easily handed down within a year or two, which saves some money and I don’t have to store them for very long.
Activities
Right now they are young kids close in age, and we have not delved into the world of organized sports and clubs. Currently, they enjoy going to the zoo, library, and museums, exploring parks and playgrounds, and swimming. At home, they play pretend, make art, go for walks, enjoy the same shows, and play with toys. I imagine in the next few years they might try out different things as their interests and skills grow, but I’m enjoying the simplicity of this phase where they enjoy the same things.
Routines
They all have the same bathtime and bedtime, which can be challenging, but, ultimately, it’s nice to have it all done in an hour and then have the rest of the evening kid-free. There was a long season when my husband was working during the evening hours and I had to manage baths and bedtime alone, and that was exhausting. I’m grateful for our current arrangement where he is available to tackle baths and tucking in too. None of them nap anymore (the youngest gave it up far too early in my opinion!), so we don’t have to plan our day around that. Personally, I still enjoy a daily nap!
Even though having kids in a cluster requires extra energy, strategizing, and patience, there are a lot of positive trade-offs that come with this family dynamic. If you have kids close in age in their teens, I’d appreciate your feedback in the comments to know what I might be heading for in a few years!
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