I don’t think I’ve officially said it on here, but our little family is beginning the adoption process! The decision to begin this process is what can only be described to be straight from God: there are so many unknowns and “why us?” statements alongside excitement, joy, and peace. We have one son, and I’m just as excited for him to be a brother as I am to be a mom of two. Sully is precious and so full of wonder. To have that times two, well my heart might explode.
As my husband and I prayed about growing our family again, we let very few people in. If I’ve learned anything, it’s that parenthood brings with it loads of opinions, both solicited and not. Volunteering for the “advice” earlier than necessary wasn’t something we were interested in, so I did the dangerous thing to do when you are growing a family: I googled. I wanted to learn as much as I could about adoption, but post after post was polarizing. Half of the pages scared me so badly about any scenario you can think of, and the other half were encouraging but did not provide the honesty that I was looking for. People were either talking about it in such detail and emotion that it sounded terrifying or they were oversimplifying topics I knew had to be more nuanced than they were letting on. (Note: I completely am on board with protecting your children’s stories. I’m speaking of the process, finances, and emotions of the hopeful adoptive families.) For all the feelings and thoughts stirring around in our hearts and brains, we still felt like God was calling us to adoption. It was then that I started to crave talking to actual people who have adopted or were adopted.
When I looked around, I thankfully knew a few adoptive parents, and they have been quick to listen and answer any questions. While I’m so grateful to our friends who have experience, I find myself still wishing I knew more real-life people in the triad (birth mothers, adoptees, adoptive families).
For starters, I want to know as much as I can about the process so that we can make informed decisions and support everyone involved.
Secondly, I want to ask hard questions, but doing so requires a certain level of intimacy that allows for honesty. As someone who has a fairly small circle of friends anyway, this is scary, but it’s much more terrifying when I’m afraid I’ll ask or say the wrong thing.
While I wish this was a “how to” post on building an adoption community, it really is a “hey, do you want to be my friend while also opening up to me about the joys and trials of adoption while also loving on my kiddos while I love on yours?” Instagram and apps like Marco have already been an amazing source for “real” families, but I would love to hear from you guys through this platform.
If you would like to connect about adoption, you can find our family at www.joyfullyalong.com or you can email me at [email protected]. We are home study approved but very new to adoption and would love to connect!
