As new moms, we are constantly thinking of all the things we could need to prepare for our little one to arrive. We organize and reorganize our baby’s room and probably even a few more times after that. We read up on all the things that can occur during labor and even after bringing our baby home. However, the one thing we are never prepared for is boundaries.
Get ready for the constant suggestions of how to parent, wanting to come over any time of every day, trying to wake the baby so they can play, and telling you you’re doing it all wrong. You will end up asking yourself and Jesus, “Am I just hormonal, are they being a bit much, or is this just what it’s like having a child?”. The answer to all of these questions is “Yes!”.
Unfortunately, on top of keeping up with your baby’s needs you are now responsible for your friends and family’s needs. *Insert hysterical laughter here*. It is absolutely not your responsibility to manage their desires. It is however, despite how ridiculous it may seem, up to you to set your boundaries. If you don’t do this, you will pop off at any given moment in any situation when you have reached your limit. (This is where your wildin’ out hormones come in to play).
You may hurt some feelings but it’s necessary. (Necessary to set boundaries not hurt feelings. Although sometimes it may be necessary to hurt feelings). “It’s what is best for the baby.” Is all they need to know. ” We are having visitors on Wednesdays and Saturdays because it’s what’s best for the baby. We are feeding the baby like this because that is what’s best for them.”. These are sufficient responses and you really do not owe anyone an explanation other than maybe your husband…maybe.
But let’s be honest here. It is super annoying that it is up to us moms who literally just went through the most miraculous and out of this world trauma, to be the ones to set boundaries. Like, can’t you just know what I need from you or consider my needs? No they can’t, but it’d be really cool if they did.
The point of all of this is simply to empower you. To help you become aware that when preparing for your little bundle of preciousness think about your boundaries. To encourage you to give yourself some grace when sorting through the wild ride of emotions you’ll have after getting home with your baby. And be brave and confident when letting people know what you need! Cuz girl, you’re a gangster! You just had a freakin’ baby!!
