Just don’t do it.
I was going to end the post right there, but there are word minimums for these things.
I know some people are super grossed out by diapers and hold their 6 week olds over the toilet and stuff, but they don’t really bother me. I mean, yeah, the dirty ones are nasty and the blow outs can be rather traumatic, especially if you aren’t at home. I once carried my 7 month old around the Pensacola Naval Aviation Museum in just a shirt and diaper because she messed her pants, and I didn’t have an extra pair. Many apologies to the people who used the women’s restroom there that day.
And there is always the overdramatic husband to consider. Every time it’s his turn to change a dirty diaper, he acts like I’ve asked him to do it with his hands tied behind his back. I’m shocked he hasn’t bought a gas mask yet. The gagging noises and exclamations coming from the bedroom are enough for me to just take over sometimes.
But the early trainers are missing out on the beauty of diapers. I can tote my toddler around for hours running errands and not have to enter a single public restroom. Unless of course I mistime my own potty breaks – which has been known to happen because I like coffee and have the bladder of a squirrel. Thankfully, I train for those instances with lots of squats in the gym. I’ve perfected the hover.
We can also go on car trips without multiple stops. No one is saying “I have to go potty” right after we pass the last gas station for the next 30 miles. No wondering if this particular gas station bathroom is going to be the one that gives you ebola. Just slap a diaper on, and we’re golden ‘til our destination.
My daughter is probably ready to potty train. She likes to take her clothes and diaper off A LOT. She strips in bed, and we find her little naked butt in a puddle in the morning. She also does it at preschool. I’ve gotten text messages from her teachers. She likes to sit on the potty and pull off toilet paper and try to flush it. She tells us when she’s done a number 2 and is asking to sit on the potty more often, but she’s never actually gone in the potty. So I’m not pushing it. I figure that eventually she’ll be like, “Mom, I think it’s time. All my friends are making fun of me.” Until then, you can find me in the diaper aisle at Target.
