A Spelling Lesson

If you’re like me, you have dozens of questions about raising your children. How do I get my baby to sleep through the night? Potty train? How do I teach my children to get along? Especially now during COVID, should I send my children to public school, private school, or homeschool? The questions, at times, feel endless. It seems like there is no lack of choices or voices offering opinions.

My three children are now adults, but, when they were little, I ran into a conundrum with one of them. A real stumper. I didn’t know what to do.

My child couldn’t spell. I mean he really couldn’t spell. He could spell his name, yes, but nothing more than one-syllable words. At the time, he was   homeschooled. I tried all of my teacher tricks (I was a certified teacher). I networked. Researched.
Ruled out underlying learning issues. Nothing seemed to help. He was frustrated, and so was I.            

Then, I ran across something unexpectedly that not only changed the situation, but also impacted the rest of my family for years to come.

I read an article about one of our presidents who was a notoriously bad speller. This president would spell a word several different ways in one document. His critics mocked him for this to which the president answered, “It is a [damn] poor mind that can think of only one way to spell a word.”

That was it! Despite his shortcoming, this man did not let his spelling issue stop him. He was a confident, self-assured man who was known as an excellent orator—and became President of the United States.     

That was the turning point. I framed this quote (minus the expletive), and it became a fixture on our dining room wall. For years, we looked at it every day and quoted it whenever needed.

We continued to work on spelling consistently, but our emphasis was different. Now the focus was building my child’s strengths rather than stressing so much about his weakness. So, instead, we focused on public speaking, competitive swimming, reading, finances, and entrepreneurship.These were things my son enjoyed and was good at naturally. He even got to present in a regional public speaking competition.

My son is now a confident, self-assured young man. Spelling is still not his strong suit. But now, when he misspells a word, he shrugs his shoulders, laughs, and moves forward—and uses spell-check a whole lot!

I got to thinking. How could this spelling lesson apply to my other two children? What were their strengths? I wasn’t sure. I could list their weaknesses, no problem. Messy room – check. Interrupting conversations – check. Fighting with siblings – check. You would think I could rattle off each of their strengths, but I couldn’t.

So, I went on a mission to find out. I gave my children a variety of opportunities to find out what they loved to do, what they didn’t like, what they were good at, what they weren’t so good at. I kept my eyes and my ears open as I interacted with them. I keenly watched them interact with others.

The youngest was good at math, fixing things, public speaking, and baseball. The oldest was good at sciences, animal husbandry, entrepreneurship, and swimming.

Many of the activities I did with them weren’t something I was particularly interested in or good at. That wasn’t the point. I was finding out what turned their crank.

These interests were then used to build up, encourage, and help them to develop practical skills and valuable character qualities. Of course, it didn’t happen overnight. It was a wild ride but worth every moment.

It’s so easy to identify our child’s weaknesses, especially now when our out-of-the-home activities are restricted. We spend so much time at home; our child’s weaknesses seem to scream at us.

If you haven’t already, I encourage you to take the time and make the effort to discover your child’s strengths. Then work together to encourage them and to build up them up. This is a good time to do so, before life returns to warp speed.

And if you run into a question or conundrum with one of your children like I did, keep your chin up. Stay open. Watch your children as they interact with activities and people. Network. Research. Reach out to the wonderful Moms in our group. We’re in this together. And, when you get your question answered, we would love to hear how you found your spelling lesson.

  Read more from other moms here.