BMFs (Best Mom Friends)

Let’s go waaaaay back to a simpler time when we didn’t have responsibilities, jobs, or kids…when we were kids ourselves.  Playing on the playground, making dandelion crowns, listening to New Kids on the Block (or if you need to go back a little further, maybe Jackson 5 or the Osmonds?)…are you back there with me?  Good.  Now, picture your best friend.  I had a couple of girls that I would definitely count as my childhood best friends…my “BFFs”…you know, Best Friends Forever.  It wasn’t just an acronym we used for texting (’cause, you know, we “texted” by writing each other notes and folding them into weird, hard to open little squares), it was a vow.  If you and your BFF went to Claire’s and talked your moms into buying the little bronze-ish heart necklaces and one of you got the “BE FRI” and the other got the “ST ENDS” and put them together…your vow was solidified.  This was the girl who heard all your secrets and kept them.  The one you could count on to skate with you at the skating rink, tell you how cute you looked, and your permanent Friday night spend the night compadre.  You had each other’s backs and you were there for each other.

But we get older…and maybe if we are lucky, we still have some of our BFFs in our life (Laura Stephens Winston, I am looking at you, girlfriend!), but sometimes we get separated for lots of different reasons–people move, we grow up, friendships change, life happens.  Now we are in this phase of being a mom…which is weird and wonderful…but also really, really tough.  Not just because you are sleep-deprived or stressed out about what your kid is (or isn’t) eating, how he or she is growing, whether you are sending him or her to the right preschool…but because you can feel really isolated and alone.  Social Media can make you feel like a complete failure.  Google can be your best and worst enemy and God forbid you post a question in a mom-group on Facebook — not only do you get 87 different answers, you can sometimes be shamed for your question or your choices.  It can be hard to be vulnerable, especially when it seems like everyone else has it all together.  But one thing I have found to be the GOSPEL TRUTH is that we are all struggling with something and we need each other more now than ever before.

What we need are some BMFs…BEST MOM FRIENDS.  The mom with whom you can be vulnerable.  Your go-to for whatever kind of question – day or night.  The mom who has your back and gives it to you straight, but with love.  We need those friends and most importantly, we need to BE those friends.    If you have one, thank her RIGHT NOW.  Let her know that while you may not be wearing the weird bronze-ish necklace, you have her back.  Take her to lunch.  If you don’t have one, I promise you will find one.  I found one who even has the same name as me when our boys were just little bitty squishes at University Daycare.  We agreed to take a mom-date with our baby boys to Columbus and hit up the Babies-R-Us store (RIP, Babies-R-Us and Toys-R-Us) and we have never looked back.   Stephanie Thompson always has a bottle of wine chilled in case I need a glass (or 2), she answers all my dumb questions, she sat with me at the hospital when my kid had to have an MRI for his umbilical hernia, and she never fails to remind me that I am doing a great job.  She is my go-to, BMF, and I feel like I can completely let down my guard with her no matter what the issue.  

If you don’t have a Stephanie Thompson, I challenge you to take a deep breath and ask a mom that you regularly see at preschool, daycare, church, My Gym, or wherever to grab a cup of coffee with you or make a playdate for your kids.  You can also come to the Auburn-Opelika Moms Blog Events that we host throughout the year!