“Can we be friends?” isn’t a phrase you often hear from adults. Making friends as an adult is challenging and takes time. After five years and three duty stations later, I still find it daunting to form my “tribe” all over again. Yet, I have seen the importanceand reaped the benefits from forming these relationships. We need our mama tribe!
Here are four tips to building and keeping your mom tribe.
Get Out
GET OUT OF THE HOUSE! (Or as my mama would say, GET THE HECK OUT OF DODGE!) I promise you this is a good idea FOR EVERYONE. The park, library, church, and other places you take your little one are the perfect places to meet other mamas. The Auburn-Opelika area has amazing parks for all ages. The Auburn Public Library
has wonderful programs that are held each week. We frequent “Baby Storytime” (standing ovation for Miss Valerie) and have made wonderful friendships and watched the littles blossom before our eyes. Make an effort to go to “all the things”. Meet the “regulars”. Try a new playground. TRY THEM ALL. Step out of your comfort zone. You won’t meet anyone sitting at home.
Be vulnerable
Be You. Just as you are, YOU ARE ENOUGH. Authenticity always shines through. Be honest about a struggle because most likely she can relate. Share your concerns and fears. Chances are she is feeling the same. We are more alike than we are different. We live in a world of highlight reels, where we typically only share the “good”. Motherhood is not always glamorous, but more of an adventure. Find that tribe (with like-minded parenting styles) to share the peaks and valleys with.
Follow Up
SWEET! Your mom pick-up lines worked (insert the classic…“How old is your baby?” *wink wink*) and you “picked up” a mama at the park and got her digits but haven’t seen/heard from her for WEEKS. Whew. Just like dating all over again. Follow up! Shoot them a text. Take her a cup of coffee. Remember they are scatterbrained mamas just like you. Maybe they just needed that little reminder nudge from you to take the friendship to the next level.
Build Each Other Up
It is so easy to get down and beat ourselves up as mamas. Life is so much sweeter when we have a community. Encourage, strengthen, and support the mamas in your tribe. You can be the sunshine on a cloudy day for a mama in your tribe and vice versa. We all know that day (insert more coffee). Motherhood can be an isolating experience. Seek out that mama by herself at the park with her little(s) and invite her in. She may not be interested in the “tribe” but chances are she will truly enjoy the adult conversation.
Your mama tribe may be simple and small. It may be your own mom, or your best friend from college that lives miles and miles away. Your tribe could look like mine, a group of women who started out as strangers that now have a group text that celebrates the full nights of sleep and shares giggles over the “uh-ohs” of motherhood! No matter what your tribe may look like always remember there is always room for more. We can continuously learn from each other, support one another, and be the friend you need. Together we can thrive.
