TWENTY years..
How can it be two decades that you came into this world with a hail storm in June.
No kidding on June 4, 1999. My sweet Jake was making his debut into this world, unremarkable, when somewhere around 4:15 p.m., the sky got dark, and as everyone in the room noticed began to peer out the window, a hail storm came, with thunder and lightening….
Then, the sun came out, and minutes later you were born… my sweet, Jake Timothy Helms was born, 4:40 p.m. 9 lbs. 3 oz.
On that very day, you turned an ordinary naive 25 year old me into your mom.The day you were born, I was sure of the plans I had envisioned for your life. I looked into your eyes, I was in awe at those long arms and saw footballs, basketballs galore.
I promised to love you.
I had so many dreams for you, Jake! I couldn’t wait to get started being a boy mom.
But God; God had other plans.
The more I got to study you, the more I realized how little about life I actually knew, it is you who has taught me perseverance, patience and persistence.
It is you who is filled with the peace; the kind of peace that cannot be gathered from this world.
Rather, it is the kind of peace in a young man who looks at the world with eyes wide open, whose soul is not fogged by material items or differences.
It is the peace of a young man who finds pleasure in the simple things; things that I may have otherwise overlooked had you not been around to show them to me these last twenty years.
The intense joy, in the tapping of pencils as a young boy and now your fingers and hands against the kitchen table, the brick fireplace, your favorite leather chair the wood floor, the hallway wall. All with a smile and genuine joy in the sound and feel.
My dear Jake, you literally are my Sunshine on a cloudy day. I am so proud of the young man you have become.
Thank you for pushing for the independence I longed to see you have.
Thank you for working so hard at everything you do, from speech, occupational therapy, basketball, tennis, school work and swimming. There is so much out there waiting for you my boy.
Thank you for your love of Alan Jackson, thank God for the radio, you are your mother’s son.
Thank you for your willingness to try anything. You are a joy to anyone in your path you meet.
The list is endless, Jake, but my point is simple
You have taught me more about the meaning of life in this last twenty years than I could ever hope to teach you. You have given me the priceless gift of perspective and I can never repay you for that.
You have challenged me in ways I thought would undo me but instead it has made me a better person and I am eternally thankful to you for that.
You fill my life with renewed meaning and purpose and even on my worst days, when I feel lost to help you and the disarray of trying to fit into this confusing world, your love makes me dust of my feet and keep on going.
You flash your amazing grin, or sound out a “kiss kiss” and for a moment we are, okay and I know that I am enough.
Thank you for all that.
I wish so many things for you sweetboy, above all, for you to keep shining your light in this world.
Happy 20th birthday, Jake Timothy Helms.
Thank you for tapping to the beat of your own drum.
Thank you for making the world a better place.
Love you, Mom
