Hey fellow moms! Can you believe that (as I write this) we’re approaching August at a rapid pace? This year has seemed so strange but back in January we had no idea what 2020 would have in store for us.
I’m not one to typically make new years resolutions, but I understand why some people are big on them. I’ve never been one to shy away from a fresh start, but as we all know, new years resolutions are really more like “til march” resolutions.
Still, here I sit deciding to balk the trend by making a resolution mid way through the year. That resolution you ask?
I am going to stop explaining myself/my parenting decisions.
I have always been an “explainer.” It’s simply a part of my personality. “Why?” has always been my favorite question. I never fulfilled my dreams of becoming an attorney but as a child my favorite game to play was Judge Judy. I would ask my parents to give me a topic and then I would debate myself for at least an hour. I’m sure my parents really appreciated that game, year after year.
After having a child I found myself explaining why I did things more than ever. Every parenting decision I made that was less than ideal was followed up with 3-5 counterpoints about why it was okay.
An example:
I let my daughter watch a movie today. I know you’re supposed to limit screen time and she had already watched an hour of paw patrol this morning BUT, she’s teething and not feeling well. We played outside the majority of the day. Yesterday we didn’t watch tv at all, we went to the park and the library. The reasons go on and on….
It doesn’t even matter who I’m talking to. Family, Friends, the lovely people reading this blog that I have never met. I’m already defending myself before you can start to judge me.
I realized at one point that I wasn’t the only one. Mothers are all too happy to post a picture of their kid with ice cream- followed up with the explanation that this is a special treat and here’s 10 pictures of my child eating well balanced meals to prove I’m a good mom.
But who are we even trying to prove? No one has ever questioned my parenting skills (at least not to my face) in all my years. So, why am I so quick to defend myself from judgement I’m not actually receiving? Rather, I’m defending myself from the judgement I’m perceiving to be coming.
So, this year I’m going to stop. Not to be abrasive or rude, but the way I parent my child is the business of myself and my husband and no one else. I don’t owe anyone an explanation for why I gave my daughter a cookie or why I won’t allow certain things.
You don’t owe anyone an explanation either by the way. I hope you’ll join me in my mid-year resolution. I think we’ll both be happier in the end.
