Hi, my name is Sarah, and I’m super accident prone. Thankfully, not the broken bones, stitches, and ER trips kind of accident prone. Just the superficial cuts, bruises, and trips to the chiropractor (Hi, Dr. Vrbka!) type of accident prone. On any given day, I can point out several scratches or bruises in various stages of healing on my arms or legs. I’ve currently got a bandaid on my pointer finger for a cut that I don’t even remember getting and several mysterious bruises on my right leg. These mostly originate from running into things – tables, bed frames, counters, door knobs, door frames, doors in general… you get the picture. But I’m also convinced that my refrigerator has a personal vendetta against me. It has ripped small chunks out of my hands more times than I can count as I’ve reached to the back of a shelf to retrieve something that got lost behind all the sour cream that my husband insists we keep well stocked. I’ve also had a few slightly more debilitating injuries from straining a muscle at the gym and falling down the stairs at my house (I have a picture of that monster bruise but it’s on my butt, so I’ll spare you).
I know why this happens to me. I move too fast. I’m cursed with an inner drive to do everything as quickly and efficiently as possible. And when I’m doing one task, chances are good that I’m already thinking about the next one and not giving the current one my complete attention. If that means I might lose a finger in the car door, so be it. If my husband has to tell the neighbors that he doesn’t beat me when I walk outside with a new black and blue monstrosity on my leg, well, he knew this about me before he married me. Seems like that’s his own fault. I’ve always done things fast when I’m in go-mode. I don’t know if it’s my competitive nature (let’s see how many things I can get done during nap time today!) or if it’s because my mom was a fast walker and used to leave me in the grocery store if I didn’t keep up. Okay, I don’t think she actually left me, but it was hard to keep up. Especially since I was reading a book while trying to follow her around.
I give you this background so you don’t call CPS when I get to this next part. Now that I have a toddler in my arms for 30% of the day (that’s not an accurate statistic, don’t try to calculate it), she gets caught in the metaphorical crossfire of my self inflicted wounds. I’ve tried to slow down, y’all, I really have. But it seems that even slow me is clumsy. I’ve hit my kid’s head on the car getting her in and out of her seat so many times, I think she just expects it at this point. She’s like wow, mom, you haven’t hit my head in the last three days, kudos to you! I’ve knocked her into door frames, hit her feet on countertops, handrails, and baby gates, smacked her full in the face with the vacuum cleaner when she came up behind me (that one was 100% her fault, let’s be real), swept her legs out from under her, stepped on her toes, knocked her over, and lots of other things I can’t even remember now.
Every single time, I feel SO bad. She’s crying, and I’m trying to comfort her like “Mommy’s sorry, she’s just really clumsy and well, you’re tiny and have terrible balance!” This phenomenon is only made worse by her increased mobility and desire for independence. I’ll be carrying her up or down the stairs when she will suddenly decide that she needs to get down RIGHT NOW and practically fling herself out of my arms. I tell myself that she won’t remember these incidents and that I’m teaching her Ross Geller-style Unagi, but I’m secretly worried that someone is going to think I’m a bad mom. My clumsiness is not limited by my location, and I’ve accidentally hurt my child in public places before. No one has said anything to me yet, but surely it’s only a matter of time. Basically, I’m writing this to warn everyone. If you see me step on my offspring or accidentally knock her over or bump her into something, please be nice to me. And I’m hoping that I’m not the only klutzy mom out there. There’s got to be other people like me right?
You should go to an OT and get your proprioception checked out. It sounds as if your body has no concept of where it is in space, which is very common sensory issue. Occupational therapists can help.
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