Raising a GENTLEman.

My heart nearly exploded the day we found out we were having a boy. Holding him in my arms for the first time and looking at his sweet soft face, I began to hope and pray for his future. That he would grow to be wonderful and kind man. 

What a huge responsibility that comes with raising a son. It is exciting and terrifying all at once. Raising boys means shaping the men of the future. 

It seems like everywhere you look lately it’s all about female empowerment, feminism, women’s rights, and on and on. While I find it incredibly commendable to raise a strong and independent daughter, I began to feel reduced as a boy mama as I read a lot of articles, blogs, and parenting books. 

So, I took it upon myself to research advice and build our own “philosophy” for raising a little fella. 

 

• Being a boy is not a pass to do things that are wrong. There is no justification for being disrespectful or selfish, contrary to popular “boys will be boys” belief. However, being a boy who acts like a “boy” is also not a crime, and the sooner we as mamas learn to appreciate their nature, the better. 

By providing opportunities for rambunctious play, while also teaching self-control, it can lead to a multitude of skills. The Art of Roughhousing: Good Old-Fashioned Horseplay and Why Every Kid Needs It, authors Anthony T. DeBenedet, MD and Lawrence J. Cohen not only articulate the benefits of roughhousing, but also offer over a hundred fun exercises to try at home.

Here’s their claim: “Play—especially active physical play, like roughhousing—makes kids smart, emotionally intelligent, lovable and likable, ethical, physically fit, and joyful.” 

If you see me on the playground in town, please remind me of this one, as I try not to hover over my “little bulldozer”.

• Teach your son to lead boldly and to stand by his beliefs, even when it might result in hurt, disappointment, or negative consequences. One day your little guy will lead his own family. He will need the courage to continue to do what is right even when those around him are calling for him to compromise. Show him through courage to stand by his faith and principles in the face of tremendous criticism. 
• Walk the walk and talk the talk in front of your son. Monkey see, monkey do. Be kind to your sons. Your kindness will be a role model on how to treat others. Sing, read, snuggle, and love on them. They are sponges. Always listening and watching. 

As mamas we have been entrusted with the responsibility of raising humans. What a task! One of the hardest in the world. In the times I am ready to throw in the towel, I try to breath and think about the value of pressing through the tough times (and we’ve only just begun this journey). Things of value often require work and my sweet boy is my most treasured gift. 

 

Are you raising little boys that will one day lead, serve, and love others well?