We’ve all been there. You are out in public with your child at the park, in the grocery store, at your older child’s school, at the bank, or at the library. Your child wants to play on your phone or wants that piece of candy or wan
ts to play on the iPad or doesn’t want to leave.
A situation like this isn’t a big deal; it happens all the time to parents.
Kids throw fits in public when they can’t have their way. It’s like it’s the nature of life. And we are used to this fact of life.
What we are not used to, even though we’ve experience it before and will most likely experience it again, is when strangers, passersby, onlookers, and outsiders give us those harsh stares, those muffles under their breaths, the body language of putting their heads down and walking straight past us, or, even worse, those direct comments that cut us to the core and make us question our parenting.
You know what I’m talking about.
Kids throw fits in public. This isn’t rocket science. It happens to everyone Is it really that big of a deal?
Apparently to some it is. It appears to be a big deal to those who spit those harsh and judging words at us.
“Get your kid under control.”
“Parents spoil their kids rotten these days.”
“Looks like someone needs a spankin’.”
If you’ve heard these words in response to your child’s misbehavior in public, I’m sorry.
I’m sorry because some people just don’t understand the value of empathy or sympathy or putting themselves in other people’s shoes.
Do we really know what that mother with the four-year-old falling out on the floor in the grocery store is going through? Maybe that mother was up all night with her sick baby and she’s exhausted. Maybe that child has been off of her sleep schedule. Maybe the family just moved, and their lives are chaotic. Maybe daddy is deployed, they have no family around, and mom’s doing this parenting thing by herself.
And even though you know that as a parent you’re doing the best darn job raising your children as you can, and even though you know that you are actually using the correct strategies to parent your children, it’s still hard to hear these words and to deal with the public humiliation of the situation.
I’ve experienced a similar situation. The glares. The stares. Little children asking what is wrong with the tantruming child. That mother’s response? “She just needs a nap.” Which I don’t think is an incorrect explanation to a young child about what is going on in the situation. But regardless, knowing that other people are talking and looking makes you really question yourself, your parenting, and your child.
These situations are really tough because you can either swallow your pride and ignore the comments or you can respond back… politely, of course. One of the go-to lines that I always provide to parents in this situation is, “We are teaching manners.” If that response doesn’t really fit the situation and you want to take control from the audience around you, you can always confidently say, “I got this.” And indeed, you do.
While those who like to cast judgment are out there in the world, what is also out there and what I really appreciate are those kind souls who lend a helping hand or say words of encouragement.
“Can I help you?”
“You have such a beautiful family.”
“You are a great mom and you’re doing a great job.”
We need more of these people out in our world and less of those who are looking to point the finger.
My challenge for all of us moms is to be that person that other moms may need in the moment. Offer a helping hand. Say an encouraging word even when the situation is difficult and a bit embarrassing. Remember that you were once there with your child.
