The Weary World Rejoices

This year has seen many highs and many lows for our family.

We lost Pawpaw aka Eugene Hannah (my husband’s grandfather and our Finley’s namesake) and Amber Talley Blakemore (my half sister) this year. As well as multiple family friends and co-workers.

On top of those physical losses and grief, I am also learning how to grieve the loss of someone who is still alive, “anticipatory grief”. The greatest man I’ve ever known. Albert Lebron Patterson, my granddaddy, and my number one! He is living with Parkinson’s Disease. This year alone has truly felt like a “long goodbye” in the sense that Parkinson’s has taken the components of his personality and cognitive skills so rapidly. Every time I see him, I grieve a little more.

A season that is supposed to bring joy can serve as a painful reminder of loss for many. How do we celebrate a season of togetherness when there are missing pieces?

Getting out of the mindset that there is a right and wrong way to celebrate is a crucial part in finding joy throughout the holiday season. No one should feel self-conscious or guilty about their personal grief.

Depression and grief are hard topics. I’ve learned that grief is a process, and it always helps to have a toolkit. This “toolkit” needs to be built with what works best for YOU. We all grieve differently. It’s easy to get overwhelmed during this season. Depression and grief can show their ugly faces at any unexpected time. Make a game plan for those “big calendar days”, or that family dinner/gathering that has caused you anxiety for the last three weeks. If plan A doesn’t work, have a plan B…or even a plan F. Take a friend, have an exit strategy, and don’t be afraid to say NO!

Sometimes the most helpful thing is for someone to acknowledge our grief and to just be with us. Reach out to those who are grieving around you. Send them a card or small gift, a gesture such as a simple phone call, or taking them to lunch. Sit in the awkward silence, or be a listening ear. Don’t minimize their pain, acknowledge it and allow space for it. I’ve learned that by being present for others minimizes my grief and is an outlet for myself as well.

We can’t run from grief. Unfortunately, it is a constant companion. Be intentional by making way for joy. One step at a time. You might feel joy, guilt, and sadness all within a few minutes. Allow yourself to feel those emotions without thinking you should be happy or you shouldn’t be laughing. Give yourself grace. Make new traditions in honor of those you have lost. This can be as simple as lighting a candle in memory of your loved one, or donating to a charity in their honor. This season is going to be a little quieter without Pawpaw’s banter with me, and oh how my heart aches for my sweet nieces that lost their mom too soon, as well as the different atmosphere while at “Granny and Granddaddy’s Christmas”.

But there is one constant..HOPE. 

“A thrill of hope, the weary world rejoices….”

All around us are people feeling the weariness of life and death in this world and wonder how can we rejoice. People are in desperate need of the reality of Christ to heal their loneliness and despair. I know where I find my greatest comfort and I look for opportunities to share with them the comfort and joy to be found in the Lord.

I encourage you to show kindness to those around you this holiday season. It doesn’t cost a thing to smile or say “hello” to others. You never know who needs it! Please know you are not alone this holiday season. Reach out to your friends.

While we may not know what tomorrow will bring, I know WHO brings tomorrow and we have this moment right here, right now…… and boy am I so glad Parkinson’s can’t take that away.

“He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore” (Revelation 21:4).

 

               In Memory of those we have lost.

 

 

(I sent a small gift to a family that lost a loved one this year as well. The artist did an amazing job with not only the piece but also with personal requests. The link is below to her Etsy shop. This is an easy way to remind others you are thinking of them as well as shopping “small”.)

Etsy Shop – Christmas Ornament Link