5 Myths About Stay At Home Moms

      One of the craziest things I’ve found about motherhood is that everyone seems to have an opinion on my life and they feel free to voice it now. I have no idea what it is about becoming a parent that makes your life an open book but even strangers feel free to ask the most intimate and personal questions. Below are 5 myths I’ve heard about being a stay at home mom that simply aren’t true (at least not for me).

 

• MY HOUSE IS SPOTLESS:

Lol, Jokes. Every time someone talks about me being home they always add the phrase “well, when you aren’t cleaning.” When my daughter was a newborn, this comment gave me so much anxiety, it was crazy. Stay at home moms do not have a spotless house. Anyone who stays at home with a baby is doing their best to keep their heads above water. My laundry sits in the dryer for two days just like you working moms!

• I HAVE A TON OF FREE TIME:

I have no idea how this myth co-exists with the previous one, but it does. I feel like people sometimes honestly believe that stay at home moms get more hours in a day than everyone else. The truth is for a SAHM free time is something pretty hard to come by. There is no “lunch break” or 30 minutes of conversation about last week’s Game of Thrones episode at the coffee machine in the morning. If I do get free time, it’s because I made the choice for the laundry to wait or the floors to remain un-vacuumed. Then the guilt sets in because, you know, I’m supposed to have a spotless house.

• I MAKE HOMEMADE DINNER EVERY NIGHT:

Nope. I happen to enjoy cooking. You know who doesn’t enjoy me being in the kitchen? My 8-month-old. She thinks I should be building her a block tower for the 45^th time today and she’ll cry to prove so. My husband gets home from work late in the evening so usually I feed and put my kid to bed and then hit up the kitchen. By the time I get there, he’s on his way home. If a meal takes longer than 30 minutes to make, then we aren’t eating until 9 p.m. and that’s this tired mama’s bedtime. I throw a frozen pizza in the oven just as often as you do.

• THAT I’M MARY POPPINS REINCARNATE:

Just because I’m with my kid 24/7 doesn’t mean I have any idea what I’m doing. At every stage of my daughter’s development, I spend a solid week trying to figure out how to entertain her. She’s too young at the moment but I’m not really a crafty person so don’t expect to see any awesome homemade creations when you come over. The only thing I know to do with popcorn is eat it.

• THAT I’M ANTI-FEMINIST:

Au Contraire my friend. I actually consider myself a huge feminist. Truthfully, the decision to stay home with my daughter was a mixed bag of factors. I fully support working moms. I’m the daughter of one myself and I know how hard it is for you guys. I don’t believe “A woman’s place is at home” or children are at a detriment by having a working Mom. What I do believe is that you can’t have it all, which is a shame. We mothers, whether we’re working in an office or at home, need to come together and fight for better maternity leave, better hours, better accommodations for families, and every single other thing that hinders women in the work force. We shouldn’t have to choose between a fulfilling career and our family. We shouldn’t miss bedtimes or be punished for our children getting the flu. Our husbands shouldn’t either. So yeah, I’m a feminist who stays at home with her kid. I’m full of surprises like that.

At the end of the day I suppose you could say I’m a bit irritated over these things. I think, I’ve always been irritated. As women, we are constantly being stereotyped and judged regardless of the decisions we make. Whether we decide to become mothers or stay childless, whether we stay home or work, whether we spank or don’t. You honestly can’t win. If you stay at home, I’m sure you’ve heard these statements. For some of you they may have rolled off your back and for others they made have made you grit your teeth in frustration that you aren’t the “ideal” mother. 

The point I’m really trying to make is that we should realize that motherhood comes in all shapes and sizes. As my mother once told me “If we all wore the same clothes and drove the same cars the world would be a boring place.” So let’s end the stereotypes. Let’s stop posting on Instagram and Facebook about our perfect lives and trying to live up to the expectations others have of us. Let’s be responsible to our children and to ourselves and finally, let’s stop stereotyping one another.