Dad, You Did Some Things Right and I Appreciate That

My dad, like all dads, has had a huge impact on me. He hasn’t always done as I would have hoped, but he gave me a good start in life, and reminiscing on my childhood, I’m thankful for all the things he has done right.

He’s a retired coach, teacher, and assistant principal and he was good at all of those things. His students and fellow faculty members respected him and one of his super powers was the ability to reduce a student to tears with a look. He called me into his office at school one day to assure me he wasn’t angry when the blood drained from my face and I began to cry in the hall because he had given me “the look” during change of classes. In truth, I knew that as long as I was doing what I was supposed to do and had a clear conscience, I had nothing to fear. If not, well, my fate be on my own head.

He taught math and science and, in our small community, I had him for several of my classes in junior high and high school. I still cringe when I remember my first algebra test. I hadn’t studied sufficiently and I knew things hadn’t gone well. Dad’s study advice to his students was, “Do your homework. I’ll give you ten problems each night to make sure you understand the concepts outside of class. When it’s test time, figure out the ten most important things we went over. That’s what you’ll see on the test.”

His tests were short, ten problems, and exactly like he said. He’d grade them as they were handed in and if everyone finished in time, and you wanted, he’d call out your grade at the end of class. Teachers could do that back then.

I sat in the last seat in the middle row, right in front of the door. He was calling out grades and when he got to me he said, “Beverly?” I nodded “no” and slid down miserably into my seat. “We’ll talk about this when we get home.” Then he gave me “the look.” I remember my wide-eyed classmates as they exited the room. One of my friends laid a hand on my shoulder as he went out and said, “Whew, I wouldn’t want to be you tonight.” It was a while before I got my car keys back, but I did my homework diligently after that.

Daddy can be stern, but he also has a sense of humor. Practical jokes were as much a part of my childhood as the serious stuff. One of his favorite things to do was to watch and wait until our cat walked across the water hose in the back yard, give it a good jerk, and watch Smokey go airborne. He kept us laughing and he loved a good story, though, I don’t think Mom enjoyed the practical jokes as much as we did.

When I was in fourth grade, Mom went back to college to finish her teaching degree. She studied at night and had classes during the day while my brother and I were in school. Most of what I remember during that time was that she was tired a lot and I had to wash dishes every night to help out. I also remember that one day at school, I put my head down on my desk and when my teacher asked me if I was sick, I said, “Yes,” knowing full well that I wasn’t. She called Dad. Mom was at school, but he walked me across the street to our trailer, made me put on my pajamas and get into bed. Then, he sat with me for a while and just talked. I know now that he realized I was perfectly fine physically, I just needed a little extra comfort because I was missing my mom.

Dad coached at small schools his whole career, so he was also groundskeeper, carpenter, painter, and laundry service year round. He sometimes let me tag along when I was small. I enjoyed the time with him and I learned a lot about him as he interacted with his students and athletes. He really cared about each one, not just the school stuff, but home life too and it showed.

Before I started school, he completed his masters in zoology at Montevallo. We spent two summers living in a small upstairs apartment. His professor, Dr. Robert Mount, required his students to catch and care for critters as part of the course. I remember jars and jars of snakes, turtles, frogs, and salamanders lining our bathroom. (Mom made him put all the poisonous snakes on the outside window ledge.)

He was forever catching little green lizards, letting them bite down and dangle from his earlobes, and then trying to hug my mom, making her scream. He loved catching any kind of non-poisonous snake and showing it to us, teaching us what he had learned and I’m sure his influence was instrumental in my becoming a science teacher. I saw it as I encouraged my kids to love learning, and I see it today in my love of wandering the backyard with my granddaughter identifying the birds, watching the squirrels, and looking at bugs with her small magnifying glass.

Dads, everybody has one. Some dads are amazing, some are absent-either by choice or by circumstances beyond our control, most are somewhere in the middle. They have an impact on us, hopefully for good, but, in their humanness, sometimes for bad. A dad has the power to help us soar or bring us crashing to the ground. My dad helped shape me as a person. He didn’t always get it right, but I’m thankful for the times he did.

I love you Dad. Thanks for introducing me to a love of music and sports, for instilling in me a strong work ethic and a love of learning, and for giving me a sense of humor and the ability to laugh at myself. You did some things right and I appreciate it.