Don’t Call Me Supermom!

Please don’t call me,”Supermom!”

I have been called by this title from several well-meaning individuals. It may sound like a compliment; but in reality is sets unrealistic expectations for me, as well as for other moms who might think that if they don’t maintain the “supermom” image, then something must be wrong with them. It also creates a false perception that “supermoms” don’t really need help; when in fact, I think they need the most help because everyone else is thinking that these “supermoms” have got it all under control. Just because a mom is not complaining or falling apart in public, does not mean she doesn’t need help.

Whenever I hear the term, “supermom,” it says to me that I must be perfect. I have it all together. My house is spotless. I have probably prepared all home-cooked meals. All my children’s clothing must be neatly folded and carefully arranged in their dresser drawers. Flylady would be proud of me because all my dishes have been washed and put away.

I am not Supermom. On the outside, I may appear like the man of steel. But, the truth is that most days, I am barely holding on. I am just like any other mom who is struggling to figure it out. I yell at my kids. Every day is a juggling act. Even though I homeschool my kids, I sometimes still feel guilty that I don’t spend enough time with them. 

I am not Supermom. If you see me with a smile on my face, it’s because I just have a pleasant disposition. I am trying to make the most of my days. I don’t complain, but that doesn’t mean I am not struggling. Most days, I have to make the make the decision between a clean house and doing laundry. Or cooking and putting away the laundry that I folded four days ago. 

I am not Supermom. I am just a regular mom trying to make it one day at a time. 

Having four kids and balancing work, ministry, and personal life is no easy feat. But it is not because I am a Supermom. It is because I have learned to:

Simplify: I used to make elaborate meals for my kids, and then get upset when they didn’t eat it. Now, I stick with simple meals like “breakfast for dinner” and quick, easy meals. We eat lots of boiled eggs, oatmeal, peanut butter and jelly, chilli, and rice and beans.

Utilize My Resources: I am blessed to have my mother-in-law live nearby. She not only helps me watch the kids, but she is great at helping me with their laundry. I recently had a friend watch my kids so I could attend an event. I returned the favor, the following week, by watching her kids, so she and her husband could go out on a date. I have a cleaning lady come twice a month do a deep clean. Believe me, it is worth every penny.

Pray: I don’t pray nearly as much as I should; but I know I can’t make it without Jesus. I ask the Lord daily for wisdom to be a good mother and to try to be the mom that my kids need.

Exercise: I have not always been consistent with this one; but I realize that I need to work out to keep my sanity. I can usually tell when I am so tightly would up, and need to get to the gym. I snap at my kids and just need to take a break. Exercising is a huge stress reliever for me. I used to neglect working out because I felt like there was so much that I needed to do; but, I realize that the work will always be there. At least if I take time out to exercise, I will have more energy to tackle the work, and feel less resentful.

Relax: I give myself permission to relax during the day. In the past, I would ignore the signs of tiredness, and suffer the consequences later. Taking time throughout the day, week, and month to relax and rejuvenate are critical to my well being. Whether it is scrolling on Facebook, or going to get a manicure or pedicure, I make my self-care a priority.

Mingle: Take time to mix and mingle with others who are at different stages or seasons of life than you are. It feels good to be able to discuss topics other than motherhood.

Ownership: Own who you are as a mom. Each of us were uniquely created by God with different gifts, personality traits, and skills. Our mothering style does not have to look like anyone else’s. I am not a mom who enjoys cooking; but I am that mom who will do everything in my power to give my kids unique experiences, such as traveling to another country. 

Memorize scripture or positive affirmations: Finding encouraging verses or quotes can be helpful when you feel like you might lose your cool.