“Your children get only one childhood. Make it memorable.” – Regina Brett
Most people look forward to Friday because, for many, it is the start of the weekend–it means there is a short break from the chaos of work, school, and other obligations. My son and I look forward to Friday because it means we get to go to Krispy Kreme for “Doughnut Friday,” which has become our mother/son tradition.
We haven’t always had doughnuts on Friday. Doughnut Friday came about as a form of positive reinforcement (some might call it a bribe…) after Michael (then age 3) had been having a rough time at daycare and I was greeted by notes from his teacher every day about the latest behavioral issue. Rather than punish him again (especially after he had been punished by time out or having to be sent to the office of the daycare director), I decided I needed an incentive for good behavior. After giving it some thought, I told Michael that if he did not get in trouble all week and had good behavior at daycare and at home, I would take him to the “doughnut place” (a.k.a. Krispy Kreme) to get any doughnut he wanted before school. I told his teacher in front of him about my promise so that she could use it as needed and as I left the school, I said a prayer that it would work…and boy, did it ever. That Monday evening I arrived at his daycare and went to his room to pick him up. Taped to his cubby was a note. I took a deep breath, as those notes had usually meant something didn’t go so well, but this note was different — “Michael had SUCH a great day! I just know he is going to get his doughnut Friday!” He was so proud and we high-fived one another. Each day that week, Michael was so excited to report his good behavior and, on Friday, I was so proud to take him to Krispy Kreme for his reward. What started as an incentive for good behavior became a weekly tradition for mother and son.
Now, no matter how long or difficult the week has been, we get to end the week on a high note at Krispy Kreme. I am not a morning person by nature and sometimes it is hard to leave the house in time before work and school. We occasionally have to skip a Friday or go after dinner that night, but Doughnut Friday is definitely important to us. Right now, maybe it is more important to Michael because he is four and he loves sugary sweets. For me, it is important that I show Michael he is important and loved by making the time to spend with him. Sometimes I sit across from him and watch him enjoying his doughnut (his favorite is the Cake Batter – the creme filled doughnut with yellow frosting and sprinkles) and I wonder if we will still have Doughnut Friday when he is in junior high and doesn’t want to wake up early enough to go with me…or his senior year, when he is driving his own car and maybe has a girlfriend or an early sports practice…will he still have time for me and a silly doughnut? I sure hope so.
Thinking about Doughnut Friday made me realize the importance of the memories we make with our children and how vital it is that they know through our actions how much we care about them. As a full-time working mom, most days are a flurry of get up, get dressed, get fed, go to work/school, go home, eat dinner, bath, bedtime and repeat with little time left to make fun memories or establish traditions. But you have to make time to make memories. Doughnut Friday is really about 40 total minutes each week, including the drive time. You can always join Michael and me at Krispy Kreme on Friday mornings, but if you just don’t think you can make that work, here are some other ideas to make memories with your kids:
- Have a family game night
- Have a family movie night with popcorn and candy
- Schedule a special parent/child date night
- Have at least one family dinner each week with no TV, cell phones, or other electronic devices allowed
- Say “yes” when you would normally say “no” – to stopping for ice cream, to riding the merry go round in the mall, to staying up past bedtime, to eating dessert for breakfast
- Attend a sporting event together
- Read books together before bed
- Cook or bake together
- Go on trips together
- Do a craft together
- Exercise together or train for a race together
The most important thing is to be together and have FUN! It is kind of like the Trace Adkins song, “She Thinks We’re Just Fishing,” where a daddy takes his little girl fishing and while the daughter thinks they’re just fishing, daddy knows it’s really about the quality time they are spending together: “She ain’t even thinkin’ ’bout what’s really goin’ on right now, but I guarantee this memory’s a biggun, and she thinks we’re just fishin’…”
