Since you’ve been a Mom, do you find yourself saying things you can’t believe came out of your mouth? You’re not alone. 2020 has been a rough year, and we all could use a laugh about now. Let’s have some laughs together as I reflect on some things I said when my now-adult kiddos were growing up.
I can’t find one clean shirt that doesn’t have spit up on it!
Y’all can relate, right?
You can’t find out where the ‘poopies’ go by sticking your hand in the toilet. Child #2, a preschooler at the time, was particularly curious as to where his doo-doo went. He was up past his elbow in toilet water when I found the little guy. I asked him what he was doing, hence my reply. Right in the tub for that little man.
There is not an alligator living in the potty. Child #3 would only use the upstairs toilet because he said there was an alligator living in the downstairs toilet (nearer to his room, mind you). Y’all know that seconds count when a child has to go potty. Nothing I tried would dissuade him. Eventually he ‘grew out of it.’ A few years ago, his two older siblings fessed up that they instigated the whole alligator thing. 
You can’t possibly have to go potty again. We made five potty breaks two hours into what should have been a three-hour road trip. The trip took 5-1/2 hours. I kid you not. Do you dare not believe them when they tell you they have to go potty on a road trip? The one time you don’t believe them…
Just because you dug a frog pond in the back yard doesn’t mean frogs will come. My kiddos dug a ‘frog pond’ in the woods at the edge of our back yard. Excitedly, they checked on it every day to see if the frogs came. They never did, of course. At least it kept them busy.
Do not get muddy before we leave for church. What was I thinking? Of course, they were going to get muddy. They were mud magnets!
I love my attic. Just five minutes of peace and quiet without somebody wanting something. That’s all I wanted. I tried the bathroom; that didn’t work. “Moooommmm,” relentlessly through the closed door. Why is it that as soon as the bathroom door closes someone wants something? I tried the bedroom; that didn’t work. Then I discovered the attic. It was a whole new world. Tranquil. Undisturbed. The only downsides are you gotta dress for the season. And five minutes goes by real fast. Fastest five minutes ever.
Let’s play a game and pretend my name isn’t Mom just for five minutes. This was my go-to when the attic wasn’t an option.
Our chickens have to get a bath in order to put them in the 4-H show? Who knew one could (or would even consider it, if one knew)? I found out that bathing a chicken is much like bathing or washing anything else. Sorta. Except for the awful stench of wet feathers. Except for the incessant squawking and flapping of said feathers. All you need is a bathtub or large basin, outdoors preferably (indoors is not a good idea, in case you are tempted to try), shampoo, towels, towels, and more towels, and best of all, a hair dryer. Oh yes, you gotta blow-dry those biddies to make their feathers look nice and fluffy. A truly memorable experience. For both of us.
Boys, why is there no underwear in the laundry? We lived in the country on a property with a well. One summer we had a severe drought, and our well almost went dry. To save what little water we had, we did our laundry at a laundromat. One trip per week was about all I could muster. Five people, five garbage bags of laundry. One week both of my boys had no underwear in their laundry. How could that be? How did I miss that seven days in a row? Epic Mom fail.
Please clean up every last bit of peanut butter and toothpaste. Child #2 and Child 3# had a peanut butter and toothpaste fight. At that time our peanut butter supply was in 9-pound tubs from a local nut butter factory. Can you get a visual? Peanut butter and toothpaste were over everything–the walls, the floors, the curtains, the boys. Of course, I was calm, in case you were wondering.
I would do it all over again! As the saying goes, “The days are long but the years are short.” Despite sleepless nights, never-ending chores, countless hours sitting on pool decks and baseball fields, and endless hours at 4-H shows, it was worth every minute being a Mom. My three kiddos are now adults, and I wouldn’t trade the privilege and honor of being their Mom for anything. No pay. Long hours. But, we have the best job in the world, Moms! Don’t let your day-to-day challenges convince you otherwise.
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