Have you ever had Olive Garden on the 4th of July? Well, I wish I could say me either. However, one 4th of July when my husband and I were dating, we realized all of the BBQ restaurants were closed. So… Olive Garden it was. For this creature of habit and holiday tradition enthusiast, that was the first of many times that I had to let go of what I thought would be, and adjust to what was. As silly as it is, there are lots of moments in life where we just need to let go. However, there are some moments that are harder to adjust to. This is a rather juvenile example, compared to a more life altering event like dealing with a family member that is suffering from addiction. A fairly consistent thing in my life, is learning lessons through these types of experiences. We all have different strokes that we are passionate about or phased by, but I think it is safe to assume we all struggle with learning the lesson to let go, to some degree.
There are few TV shows that I watch these days. I honestly just don’t usually have the time, nor attention span, to spend much time watching it. I have never been good at watching movies either.
However, This Is Us is my jam. Maybe it’s the realness of it. Maybe it’s the fact that I hope one day I can just somehow take this extra baby home from the hospital with my newborn. Maybe it’s the life lessons that are taught in each and every episode. Maybe it’s that I force my husband to sit and watch something with me that isn’t one of his History channel shows. I never watch it live and am always behind, but that’s the beauty in today’s technology, right?
In Season 5 Episode 12 of This Is Us, there’s a conversation between Randall’s wife, Beth, and her mother. I am going to quote it, because I can’t put this into my own words any better
“It’s more than letting go. You have to adjust. It’s part of being a mother. This is the part where you let go of what you thought would be, and adjust to what is.”
I was completely taken aback by this important life lesson just intertwined into this TV show. It has taken me years to learn how to “adjust to what is.” In fact, letting go of what I thought would be is something I am still working towards and quite honestly, probably always will be working towards.
Many therapy sessions probably helped me with this lesson the most.
Postpartum hormones really got these feelings and emotions going for me. I believe there are specific events in our life that can rub emotions raw, so to speak, and we might have a more difficult time than usual adjusting to these lessons, to what things are, rather than what we thought they would be.
Time is so precious. I have wasted so much angst and tears on the way things have worked out, because they weren’t what I placed in my head. We are sometimes our own worst enemy and set ourselves up for disappointment.
Maybe your child isn’t involved in the extracurricular activity you hoped…
Maybe your child has made choices that are disappointing to you…
Maybe your parents weren’t the parents you thought they should have been…
Maybe your in-laws haven’t embraced you the way you always dreamed…
Maybe your friendships have fallen through and people haven’t been loyal…
Maybe your senior in high school was in the class of 2020…
Maybe your marriage ended abruptly…
Maybe your toddler is taking forever to potty train…
Maybe your past includes very traumatic events…
Whatever your adjustment is, I pray that you will see that you can adjust. It may not be easy. It may take years of therapy. It may take buckets of tears. But, you can adjust. Stop wasting your time on these disappointments. Surround yourself with a tribe of people that will help you adjust. If people are continuously disappointing you, step away. Set boundaries. Set what should be aside, and embrace what is.
Just keep juggling momma, you got this!
