I am 5 months pregnant and my husband just finished prep to teach our Sunday school class, he is doing dishes, cooking lunch, holding our 14 month old while he cries for milk, and I am sitting on the couch taking a much needed break. Most days as soon as he gets home from work he immediately takes over baby duty. You see, my husband isn’t a babysitter. He is a father to my children and is more involved than I could have ever hoped for or imagined. I am so thankful for him.
However, how often is it that we stop and give credit to our husbands for stepping up and just being a great father, husband, caregiver, companion, and friend? If you don’t look hard enough, you may begin to believe the lie that our society tells us about men. Tv shows, movies, books, and even games have a common theme that depicts the man as lazy, clueless, and uninvolved. It often shows men as clueless and struggling as they “babysit” their kids all while super mom goes on an outing with friends. If we take the time to really pay attention, we might just notice how wrong our society is.
Most men these days do far more than we often realize and those same men are actually in dire need of support from the women in their lives. They are overworked, overextended, tired, and seldom given credit for their hard work to keep things together at home and on the job. As their wives, it is our job to be a helper to them and show them much needed respect. We should stop and take a look at just how much the men in our lives do for us. Let’s take a quick glimpse and see what it’s like for them.
They carry our burdens (physically and emotionally) everyday. Some men carry so much inside trying not to burden their families and don’t have an outlet to let out their own burdens, which leaves them frustrated. Often, men are the bread winners in the family, and if they aren’t they surely feel the societal pressure to be. They get up early and head to work and often come home to a tired wife (who also may have been working all day too and is equally tired) They spend what few hours they have left in the day with their family before going to bed and starting all over. In the middle of this busy schedule, they somehow find time to do the handy work around the house, ask us about our days to help us feel cared for, take care of the kids so we can have a break, make sure we have date nights and time for ourselves, volunteer at church or in the community, help a friend, spend time with extended family, and so much more. They have so much that is expected of them with little time to themselves. Many men are often not recognized for the amazing support they are to their family. Actually, they might feel criticized more often than not (by both society and sadly, their own families) This burden of work and balancing life can take a toll on them. We must give them our admiration, our respect, our love. So how do we do this?
Here are a few ways to show appreciation to the men in our lives.
1. Lets start by listening. You can take a moment and talk to your husband. Get to know the man you married on a little bit deeper level. One thing that I found very helpful is to learn what ways he shows and receives love. This is called his love language. As individuals, we each have a way that we express love, but our significant other may have a totally different way of doing so. We can’t show them we love them if we aren’t speaking their language. What do I mean by that? For example: My husband feels loved most when someone does something for him. Therefore, acts of service is his love language. I on the other hand feel most loved when someone spends quality time with me, so I often tend to show my love by giving someone my undivided attention. My love language is Quality Time. If I try to show my husband love by taking time out of my day to put down the chores and stop and give him my attention, he may find this stressful instead of seeing it as an act or an expression of my love. Instead, if I were to do all of his chores and get things done that he would otherwise have to do himself, he may feel very loved. This is one example, but there are 5 main love languages. Acts of Service, Quality Time, Words of Affirmation, Physical Touch, and Gift Giving. Talk to your husband and get to know what ways he expresses his love and affection and what ways he receives love and respect. Once you have an idea of what works for him, you can begin to show him that he is important and he matters in your life.
2. We can give them a break. We can ask them what they would like to do for some “me” time every once in a while. Give them pressure free time to just relax without worrying about work, kids, chores, etc. It may only be for an hour, but regularly providing a time for him to relax can offer him a much needed recharge. Moms aren’t the only ones who need a break every now and then, and often we are so caught up in all the pressures we have that we forget our husbands need a break too.
3. We can offer our praise in private and in public. We can remind them that they are wonderful amazing partners to do life with. They may not ask for it, but they need this respect. You probably adore your husband but don’t forget to tell him and others how much you adore him and what ways you appreciate him.
There are so many amazing husbands in this world that go above and beyond the call of duty! Let’s help change the societal stereotype and show the world that we have amazing men! They aren’t babysitters for us, they are fathers that love and cherish their families and would do anything for them. Let’s not let our men think that we don’t see them!
I would love to hear from you about the amazing man in your life. How has your husband made your life easier or better? I really would love to help society see that all husbands aren’t lazy or uninvolved. Drop some stories in the comments below!
