(*Spoiler alert* — this is going to be a rant. Disney fans, please refrain.)
Last month, my three-year old and I went to Disney. Disney Magic Kingdom, to be precise — little did I know about how many Disney and other lands there are in Orlando, Florida.
I hated it. So much.
To be fair, we did have fun. Like, at least on two of the three rides we were able to do, and seeing Mickey and Elsa alive and singing, yes. But not enough fun to justify a $120 day ticket. Not enough to be OK with taking more than 45 minutes just from our parked car to the main entrance. Not enough to say “OK but at least I made 15,000 steps on my Fitbit.”
Here’s the thing. Yes, I went alone with my girl, which is obviously more exhausting than going with a co-parent. Yes, she loves Moana but is otherwise not big on Disney. And yes, half of Florida was on spring break, apparently, so it was absolutely packed. Still, I would have been OK with all of that, and the $120, if IT WERE ALL WELL DONE. But it isn’t. It’s just one big money-machine where the whole merchandise has taken over the actual product.
First, as mentioned, the parking — why plant an entertainment park complex in the middle of the swamp when I still have to pay $25 (or more) for parking, then have to walk or tram miles to the monorail, then front entrance? I don’t get it.
Second, OK, spring break and long waits/lines, fine — but why are the lines so poorly organized, almost half a century after the place opened?
And third, the whole rides and appearance of the buildings — is it only me or are they mostly falling apart? And why does anyone on Earth wait for 50 minutes (!!) for a Flying Dumbo ride, that lasts barely a minute (I SWEAR, I TIMED IT) and basically NOTHING happens?! If you are solo-traveling with a toddler or preschooler like me, it’s absolutely unrealistic you’ll get to do more than the three fast-pass rides. At least, I wouldn’t wait 105 minutes for a one-minute roller coaster with the Seven Dwarfs, not even without a personification of impatience. And then you’re back at the $120, wondering, who would pay that for THREE (not particularly exciting) rides.
And don’t get me started on the mouse ears. Why anyone, no matter super rich or dead poor, would pay $28 (+taxes) for a pair of sequined Mickey Mouse ears, made-in-China, which you’ll be wearing only for one or two days at the park, is beyond me.
So I guess in summary, “I hate Disney” is not exactly correct. The right term is “I don’t understand Disney.” And to be clear, neither does my three-year old.
… Maybe I’m just too … European.
End of rant.
P.S.: For all the true Disney fans out there: Please don’t be encouraged by this Bitter Betty and enjoy “the Happiest Place on Earth” just like before!
P.P.S.: What I DID enjoy though, was Disney Springs! No parking or admission fee, a lot of Disney, a Lego store to play, Rainforest Café, and a balloon ride … That’s all the two of us needed.
My eldest was the first grandchild. My mom paid for me, my sister, and her to go to Disney when she was 3.5 for Mother’s day. It was a miserable experience. She hated all the loud noises, the hot weather, the long lines. Wouldn’t approach anyone without a real face (Mickey and Goofy scared her to death). She did like the princesses and didn’t mind mickey mouse club house. But every other thing, she just simply want to look at flowers or play in the water. I think at 3, it was just too overwhelming for her.
My sister and my mom were huge Disney fans, so this really disappointed them. I couldn’t help her reaction though! We had a much better trip when everyone was older, and took a cruise.
It sounds like every rookie mistake possible was made – resulting in a less than decent experience. There are so many ways to avoid most of these issues and to get the most out of any visit. Sad that lack of research before making such a trip and spending such money resulted in these negative memories and this review.
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