Did you know that 1 out of every 3 women who give birth in the United States will give birth via C-Section? That number seems to be rising in the US, even skyrocketing to averages of around 40% or 50%! While this is not a pleasant thought, it is likely that you or someone you know will be left dealing with this reality. I can imagine that most pregnant women (myself included) often plan for a vaginal delivery, but not every woman gets her dream experience. Here are 5 ways to support C-Section moms!
[side note: I use the term “vaginal delivery” instead of “natural delivery” because all birth is natural, and a part of God’s design for populating the earth. We have medical advances that allow many women to survive what could otherwise be a tragic birth experience. Let’s embrace these advances and not imply they are somehow unnatrual.]
All of that being said, as friends, spouses, or support persons of those sweet mamas, we want to help during the recovery period as they journey the long road to recovery. Helping may look different for a mom who had a C-Section. All moms, regardless of experience, will need love, encouragement, support, rest, and food during recovery, but I want to offer some tips specific to C-Section moms that I found helpful for me. If you’ve never had a C-Section, (especially any men who may be reading this ?) here is a list to help give you a little push in the right direction.
Encourage Mom to Take Care of Herself
This tip can honestly apply to any mom at any stage of life, but it is especially important after a C-Section. The new mama has just endured (what was probably) a scary surgery and now must take care of her new little nugget. She is probably not thinking of herself as much as she should be. Remind her to drink water very very often (and bring her that bottle because getting up and down after an abdominal surgery is not the most pleasant), bring her healthy snacks every few hours (this is so important, for many reasons, but especially if she is breastfeeding), remind her when she needs to take her medicine (regardless of her choice of pain medicine, she will be required to take something to prevent infection after surgery and she will be sleep deprived and forgetful), get her to take a short walk every few hours, (and go with her!) encourage her to take some time to shower every day (she may need assistance with this as well, so be patient). These are all great ways for her primary support person to help her heal after what is considered major abdominal surgery. If you aren’t her primary support person, offer to watch baby while they take a walk, shower, or do anything else that requires mom to have assistance. If you don’t help in this way, she may find herself taking care of her newborn’s needs and neglecting to take care of herself. That baby needs a healthy and happy mommy!
Bring Food
Every new mom could use a stash of freezer meals during the newborn days, but it is vital to have a plan for meals after a major surgery. Even if she has someone helping her, that support person is likely not just taking care of the newborn, but is also taking care of the needs of the new mom too. Between soothing a fussy and colicky baby, changing diapers, and helping mom with everything she needs, the support person won’t have much time to cook, clean, or even have alone time. It really does take a village, so bring that mom (and dad) a meal- or TWO- and you will make their lives a little bit easier! Be sure to ask questions before just stopping by. You should know if they have any food allergies, what time of day is appropriate to stop by, and how many people will need to be fed. If they have other children, you could also ask about favorite meals! There are websites to help you organize meals for a new mom too! These can be very helpful for giving details and coordinating with a group of people that may want to bring food, so that everyone isn’t arriving on the same day.
Ask Before Visiting the Hospital
Some moms absolutely want lots and lots of visitors in the hospital, but that’s not the case for every mom! Even if you ask weeks before the baby is due and she is totally open to visitors, things may change a bit if mom ends up having a C-Section. She is probably in a lot of pain and on some medicine that makes her a little bit out of it (not always, but usually for the first few hours at minimum). She may not be as open to visitors than if she were to deliver vaginally. There is a lot more going on in the hospital room than you would imagine and lots and lots of exams to make sure mom is recovering well. A lot can go wrong during surgery, and her team of medical staff is trying to take the best care of mom and baby. She likely has a longer stay in the hospital because of this, and may not be able to really welcome visitors like she had planned. This is not the case for everyone, so just ask before you drop by the hospital.
Offer to Pick Up the Baby
One thing I never imagined is that I wouldn’t be able to pick up my own baby after delivery. However, that definitely ended up being the case! For a few weeks after our son was born, I couldn’t be left alone with my baby because I couldn’t bend over to pick him up or lay him down in his crib or bassinet. When we arrived home from the hospital, I was still in a lot of pain and realized very quickly what my limitations were. I relied on my husband every time I needed to pick up my baby to nurse. He was a champ and changed all of baby’s first diapers too! SO, I can’t say enough how helpful it is to have someone available to simply hand you your baby. Be sure to wash your hands first, and try not to hog the baby snuggles! ?
Offer to Driver Her Somewhere
After a C-Section, moms aren’t allowed to drive for at least 2 weeks! This means even if she felt great and wanted to get out of the house, she wouldn’t be able to do it on her own. My husband had paternity leave and was there with me to get us out of the house to keep us from going stir crazy, but not everyone has that luxury. Usually, mom has someone lined up to help them the first week or so after delivery, but once it’s been a week they may need some help! It’s just nice if you reach out and see if she wants to go for a drive or a short walk in the park. She likely won’t be able to go far, but just a change of scenery can do so much good!
These are just 5 ways you can help mom recover, but remember that every mom is different. If you want to be helpful, just ask her what she needs. I’m sure she would be more than willing to have someone clean, do laundry, cook, take the older kids out for a play date, or just have some time alone. It means the world to a new mom to know that she hasn’t been forgotten and someone in her life wants to help! She has just been handed a new baby to take care of and is also recovering from surgery. It’s a lot to juggle for anyone, so be patient, kind, and supportive. Your efforts will go a long way. Even if she doesn’t remember to say it, she definitely appreciates you! Oh, and don’t forget to tell her congratulations!
