I don’t know about you but there are very few things that I NEED to live a happy, balanced, and fruitful life.
Maslow had it right in his hierarchy of needs. Other than having my basic, safety, and emotional needs met to keep me functioning, there’s not a lot that I NEED to be my happiest self.
But, there is one thing that I have learned most recently that is not just the “cherry on top” that helps my world go round and round. I will argue that this is most definitely a NEED for me, not a WANT.
And now having two kids under the age of three, this NEED has become ever more clear.
Before I continue and spill the beans on what my NEED is, I urge you to take a moment, to pause the scrolling, and think about your own life.
What helps you be happy?
What contributes to you having a balanced life?
How are you best able to live a fruitful life?
Due to the constant demands that motherhood naturally puts on us, it can be quite hard for us to stop, reflect, and look at our own lives in this way.
It’s a natural tendency for us mamas to almost always be looking after others, worrying about our little people, occupying ourselves with THEIR happiness, fulfillment, and growth, and thus forgetting that we are individuals too who have needs (that should be met), wants, and desires.
So answer this question:
What is it that you NEED to be your best self, to be your best “you,” and to live that fulfilled and fruitful life?
My answer?
Well, you see, both kiddos have recently been getting up WAAAAAAAY early, which has not been the typical norm in our household.
I’m an early riser, have been for years, and there’s a certain peace that comes with rising before the sun rises, rising before the birds rise, and rising before my people rise.
I’ve relied on this alone time, this quiet time to center myself for the day, to recharge, to feel mentally and physically strong. This time to myself helps me feel prepared and energized for the day ahead.
When my little people began waking up before I could get this alone time, I didn’t think it was much of a big deal. Sure, I PREFER to have that time to myself first thing in the morning but what harm is there with skipping a few days.
Well, a few days turned into a week, and then two, and it became very clear to me that this “preference” isn’t actually a preference… it’s a need that must be met.
I became more irritable.
I barked at my husband more and became snappy with the kids.
I felt very impatient, negative, and unpleasant.
And, if I’m being honest, I felt a bit neglected and angry.
I knew that this wasn’t the best me for my husband and my kids, but also for ME.
So, I got my early rise discipline back in check and began rising 30 minutes earlier than I had been. That meant a 5:00 AM wake up, and I was ready. I needed this time to myself to THRIVE.
The first day of setting my alarm for 5:00 AM (instead of 5:30 AM), I only stayed in bed for a few minutes and then ever so quietly tip-toed downstairs.
I quietly began my morning routine: crunches, coffee and prayer, and tidying the kitchen.
The children even stayed in bed much longer than expected. I had about an hour to myself.
It was pure joy. It was heavenly.
And it became crystal clear to me that this time to myself in the morning was most definitely a NEED that must be fulfilled (as best as possible).
I was happy that day.
I had energy.
I felt fulfilled.
I felt prepared and ready to tackle the day.
I had a sense of wholeness.
There was joy and peace.
So, I have continued to implement this “the early bird gets the worm” strategy so that I can continue to feel all of those positive feelings and be the woman, wife, and mother that not only my family needs me to be but also who I need me to be.
I am aware that life will happen, kids will again get up early for no known reason or different family schedules will alter my me-time strategy,but I know that THIS, this alone time, this me time, is a NEED (not a want) that helps me be my best self…
And to me, that’s worth fighting for.
