All of my favorite photos are in black and white. They seem to hide all the flaws that color photos highlight. Your skin tone is magically even, that pudge in your stomach streamlines, and life looks, well, picture perfect. But have you ever noticed that black and white photos are actually just shades of gray? Very few things in a black and white photo are actually either black or white.
I feel the same way about life. In life and especially parenting we see a lot of black and white. We live in a time that is completely polarizing. You are either for or against. You are republican or democrat. You are christian or atheist. There isn’t a lot of the gray.
Anyone who is expecting a baby is the biggest Google nerd on the planet. It’s such an exciting and nervous time you spend endless hours looking up sleep schedules, feeding tips, ect. ect. What I’ve noticed is everyone is 100% one way or another. It’s like you either feed your kids all organic food, breast feed until their 2, and don’t even own a television, OR, you eat Mcdonald’s on the reg, picked up formula on your way home from the hospital, and you have a DVR full of shows.
I tried my best to be the organic, breastfeeding, tv-free mama. It didn’t work. The day I picked up formula my heart broke. I felt like because I had struggled and ultimately failed at one thing I no longer was the mother I had strived to be. Then I realized if I played an episode of Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood in the morning, I could enjoy a cup of coffee and a little peace before my day had to start. Now I really felt like I was failing.
But I wasn’t. I was trying to live my life and my role as a parent in terms of only black and white. It sounds great on paper but in real life we should all be living in the gray. Yes, my daughter watches Daniel Tiger but we also go for walks and to the library. We talk and play 99% of the day. Is it really bad that I enjoy 30 minutes to myself every day? I’ll answer for you, no its not.
Part of being a kid is watching Saturday morning cartoons, eating Mcdonald’s and ice cream for dinner, and a bunch of other “unhealthy” habits. Trust me, the time will come when your kids have to finish their homework instead of watching a movie with you. One day, she’ll trade the cheeseburger for a salad because of the 5 pounds of (non-exisitant) fat she “needs” to lose.
They won’t be kids forever. So I say lets live in the gray area. Let’s let them some watch tv and eat french fries once in a while. We can teach them this thing called balance, which doesn’t seem to exist in this world today. Fries today, broccoli tomorrow. A movie today, a trip to the park tomorrow. It’s really not rocket science. I’m a firm believer that if you try too hard to shield a kid from “bad” things the second they get an ounce of freedom they run for it. Don’t let your kid eat candy? You can bet the first time a friend offers them some M&M’s at a sleepover, they’ll be coming home with a bellyache. If you never allow your kid to watch tv, they’ll become a zombie to it later.
I want my daughter to enjoy her childhood. It’s not my job to make her the epitome of health and wellness. It’s my job to teach her how to be a productive member of society. In order to do that I want her to have the memories of staying up too late, watching a Harry Potter Marathon, and yes, occasionally eating ice cream for dinner.
So please feel free to join me in living in the gray. It’s a great place to be. It’s full of happiness and health. It’s full of laughter and fulfillment. Best of all, its full of some guilt free parenting.
