It’s back-to-school season. You’ve shopped for new backpacks, new shoes, new folders, new clothes, new pencils, new binders, new markers, and the list could go on.
While we are in this hustle and bustle of getting all the
new things that our children need for school, plus signing thousands of forms (or so it seems), we may have forgotten about another way we can prepare.
It’s so easy for us to overlook the other ways we may need to help prepare our children for the start of school. It’s not on a to-do list and it’s not on any form. But, for some of our children, we need to help prepare them for school in terms of behavior.
Some of our children may get anxious to start a new school year, to go to a new school, to have a new teacher, to move up a grade level, or to get back into the routine of school life. Some of our children may have a hard time transitioning from summer life to school life, and that transition can be really tough for them. Some of our children may have a really hard time waking up early instead of sleeping in, going to bed on time instead of staying up late, and having to be “on” all day instead of vegging out in front of the TV all afternoon.
For us parents, this back-to-school phenomenon is more of a relief than it is a problem. We’ve done this before. We’re used to this. We know what to expect, and we’re ready for it. But, for our children, going back to school can bring on a lot of different emotions. So, it could be the case that we might need to prepare them a bit for this transition.
Even if your child has been “back to school” for weeks, they may still need some extra help. Here’s how you can help, in terms of behavior:
#1 Routines
It seems like a silly little thing but routines can make a HUGE difference to your child’s day. If your child really struggles with getting him or herself together in the morning, establishing a morning routine can be really helpful. Or, if your child has a hard time “shutting it off” at night, a solid bedtime routine can be just the ticket. Or maybe the most difficult part of the day for your child is those few hours immediately after school. An after school routine can really help get your child on track and help him or her know what’s to come.
Routines should include all of the activities that need to be accomplished during that time and in an order that makes sense. A morning routine can include washing up, getting dressed, making the bed, eating breakfast, and jumping on the bus. A bedtime routine is a bit different because you want your child to wined down instead of waking up. With a bedtime routine, you start with the most active activities that need to occur in order to get to bed (like taking a bath and getting pajamas on) and end with the least active activities (like story time and a goodnight kiss).
After school routines can look different for every child because we are dealing with different children, different grade levels, different expectations, and different needs. An after school routine may include a snack break, homework, chores, and playtime. It is important to allow our children to have an opportunity to rest and relax at some point once they get home from school. Yet, some children prefer to finish their homework right away before having a rest.
#2 Consistency
Consistency really is key. I could say it over and over again. If your child follows a routine in his or her day, following it consistently is really important. It’s not much of a routine if we barely follow it.
It’s important to have consistency in other things, too. Think about your family’s schedule. Do you eat dinner together every night? Think about your expectations for your child. Does your child have assigned chores? However you’ve established your family life to run, is it running consistently? Does your child know what to expect? Or is your child clueless?
This consistency in family life really lets our children rest assured in their family routine, structure, and schedule. While it doesn’t seem like a big deal, life can get pretty chaotic when that routine, structure, and schedule is not followed. Consistency can help your kiddo out, for sure!
#3 Expectations
A lot of fights between child and parent tend to occur simply because expectations weren’t ever really established in the first place. Is your child aware that his chores changed this week? Did your child know that the bus pick-up time was changing?
So many battles can be minimized or completely gotten rid of if we did a better job at establishing expectations. Communication is important. It’s important in marriage and it’s important with our children. By outlining our expectations for our children we are communicating clearly what needs to be done, what’s changing, what is to come, etc., and this communication can prevent A LOT of mishaps.
So while you’re busy shopping for those new schools and that new backpack, think about ways you can set your child up for success this school year by following routines, having some consistency, and establishing expectations.
