“Dear Mama…You Are Appreciated. ” Tupac wrote that anthem for his Mama and while our mamas and lives are quite different (for starters, my mama is not a “crack fiend”), the sentiment he expresses to his mama is the same I feel towards mine, especially over the last year.
Mama (aka “Nana” to my son) moved to Auburn a year ago in April. Other than my little family and some of my friends, she knew no one here. She didn’t go to school here. She has no ties to Auburn outside of us. She bought a little house here that could fit completely inside the house I grew up in with plenty of room to spare. She offered to take care of my son so that he could go to a preschool instead of full-time daycare or after-school care. She refuses to accept payment for this and actually buys or prepares meals for us, insists on paying for things I pick up on a trip to Sam’s Club, and took us to the beach this summer. She has shown up at my house early when I had to be in court at 8:00 AM so I was not stressed out about being late because I had to get my son to her before he was ready to wake up to make it all work. When I lost my mind and volunteered to coach my son’s soccer team this past spring, she got him dressed and to the field on time, even when I was pulling into the parking lot on two wheels, still in my work clothes. And that’s just a fraction of what she has done for me in the last year. I would well-exceed any word count with all the things she has done for my son, but trust me when I tell you that he is truly blessed, and not just because she cooks him fish sticks at his request every. single. day.
Since I was about 5 or 6, my mom worked full time in downtown Birmingham until she retired a few years ago. This meant that we had to attend after-school care every day after school (until I was old enough to ride the bus home and be alone for a while) and daycare all summer (except when I was at my dad’s and after I got old enough to stay home alone). It meant she could not always come to my 3:30 PM soccer game, have lunch with me at school, or be the team mom or room mom. I cannot imagine how difficult it was for her to do all that she did, especially as a single mom for a few years to two children before she remarried…and then had four children under the roof to take care of. Looking back, I feel so guilty for begging my mom to buy me name brand clothing and shoes and probably (OK, definitely) acting like a complete brat about it at times. Now I understand that as a Mama, you do without things you want (and sometimes need) so your child can have what they need and want and you don’t think twice about it. I look back and see all the times my Mama did that…even wearing my old tennis shoes because I had gotten a new pair. I look back and appreciate all that she did for me. She and I are not alike in many ways (she is much more quiet and reserved than I am) but whether she knew it or not, she helped me to become independent and strong. When I think about the time that she took my brother and me to the beach on her own as a single parent (a little younger than I am now) and knowing her personality and fears, I feel so proud of her for being so strong and brave to take two little kids on a long car trip to the beach alone. As a grown woman and mother, I can truly understand that she prepared me to be a great mother to my son and the love a mother has for her child.
My mom’s willingness to leave her home in Alabaster, away from her sisters and brother, her dad, her aunt, lots of close friends (and her line dancing class) and move to Auburn has blessed me more than I can put into words. I LOVE that my son gets to have a special relationship with his Nana – he will treasure it forever (as will I). I LOVE that I get to see my mom regularly and spend time with her getting a pedicure, having lunch, or just talking. I love that she still has my back. I never want to take for granted how lucky we are to have her so close to us and helping us and loving us the way she does.
Mama…as Tupac said, “There’s no way that I can pay you back, but my plan is to show you that I understand. You are appreciated.”
