I am hands down all about effective parenting strategies that are EASY to use and that actually WORK. And while most parents have this notion that parenting techniques that are backed by science are difficult to understand, impossible to use, and too time consuming, the opposite can’t be more true. 
Parenting strategies can easily work. They can be easily understood. They don’t have to take forever or be time consuming.
Here, let me show you!
My soon-to-be 2 year old is very independent these days. He doesn’t always want help walking down the stairs. He wants to hold his own dinner plate. And he wants to brush his own teeth.
If you’re the type of parent who either A) wants to get the job done quickly, B) wants to get the job done well, C) wants to avoid any extra mess, D) wants to avoid a tantrum, or E) all of the above, an almost 2 year old who wants to brush his own teeth could potentially end in a disaster.
You see, when I brush my son’s teeth, I want to get the job done well, I don’t want a mess, and I definitely want to avoid a tantrum. Yet, I want him to practice brushing his teeth so he can develop that skill. And honestly, I’m glad he likes to and wants to brush his teeth. I could be dealing with a whole other problem if he hated brushing his teeth.
When my husband, Michael, brushes John Paul’s teeth, it’s a different story. He wants to avoid the mess, he probably doesn’t care if his teeth are brushed well, he may care less about tantrums, and he definitely wants to get it done fast. And John Paul…. well, he’s just not all about that.
When it’s time for dad to brush his teeth, John Paul usually attempts to grab the toothbrush, Michael resists, John Paul whines, Michael continues to resist, and you see where this is going.
When I noticed this going on I knew there was a better and much easier way.
“Michael, why don’t you do what I do? When it’s time to brush teeth and John Paul wants a turn, allow him to brush his teeth for 5-10 seconds all by himself without your help and then it’s your turn to finish the job. But when it’s your turn, say to John Paul:
It’s my turn in 3… 2… 1…
And then take over and finish brushing his teeth.”
Being the good husband that he is, Michael gave it a shot.
What happened? John Paul had his turn brushing his own teeth without Michael’s help. When those 5-10 seconds were over, Michael told John Paul, “it’s my turn in 3… 2… 1…” John Paul immediately, without a fight, without a tantrum, without whining, gave the toothbrush to Michael so daddy could finish up.
That’s right. No problems. No chaos. No mess. Teeth brushed in peace.
But wait. Here’s the best part. When it was all said and done, I said to Michael, “Isn’t that a great parenting strategy?”
His reply: “THAT’S a strategy?”
Michael was surprised that this 3-2-1 gig is a parenting strategy.
Because it’s easy.
Because it’s so incredibly simple to understand and follow.
Because it worked like magic.
Because it seemed so small and insignificant.
Yet, this small strategy actually produced MAJOR results.
So not every parenting strategy, technique, or advice is hard to understand, hard to use, or super time consuming. What’s incredible and amazing is that lots of strategies like 3-2-1 can be applied in different settings and in different situations.
Michael has not only been implementing this 3-2-1 strategy consistently when it’s time to brush teeth (Why would he stop? It works!), but he’s been applying it to other situations as well.
Take Exhibit A: John Paul loves basketball. He’s obsessed with basketball. Michael and John Paul were at Academy checking out those super awesome basketball goals. John Paul was NOT wanting to leave. He was on the verge of throwing a fit. What did Michael do? He whipped out his new handy dandy 3-2-1 strategy.
He gave John Paul some time to check out the basketball goals, and when it was time to move along to a different spot in the store, he implemented that parenting tool: “Okay, it’s time to leave in 3… 2… 1…”
BAM! No meltdowns. No fits. No tears. Just a “bye bye basketball goal.”
Makes you feel good, doesn’t it?
You know you’ve hit the mother-load when you’ve found a strategy that’s effective all over the place!
Michael found his favorite strategy, and now he’s looking like the parenting guru.
And you can too!
Reading this reminds me a lot of when my kids were younger and struggling to find effective parenting techniques with them. You’re right, it is always such a good feeling when you find something that actually works. I enjoyed reading this. It really brought me back.
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