One parenting conundrum that has played out in my life over and over again – all I want is a break and as soon as I get it, all I want are my kids. This is especially true for me on the infrequent occasions I have overnight travel for work. I find that I am glad I went and even more glad to get home. When work (or fun!) pulls us away from our people overnight – it’s hard, even if it’s also fun. Here are some ways I’ve found to minimize the missing & add some hoorah to the homecoming:
-Books: Buy or borrow a book about something related to your trip – it could be about the place itself, the way you will travel, or something the area is known for. Extra fun – bring home a new book about somewhere you went or something you did. Sharing in the things you did or places you went, can help kids visually and emotionally connect to something they may think is taking you away. Focus positive energy on the benefits of the trip instead of on the work.
-Old School: Work with a partner, older child, or family friend to deliver handwritten notes each day. Include things like encouragement for their day and what kinds of things you will be doing – “While you guys are eating breakfast – I’ll be in a meeting learning more about ______.”
-Tangible Reminders : One easy way to connect is by bringing something that reminds you of home. Let your people know about it to make them feel valued & seen, even though you’re not there in person. Some ideas: “mom jewelry” with your kid’s initials, birthstone, or fingerprints, wearing something they made themselves, or letting one of their stuffed animals tag along on your trip, bonus for selfies!
-Technology: Facetime and Skype are game changers but be mindful about when you call. Is there anything worse than wanting to see some sweet faces and hear those little voices only to find that everyone is crying and your partner is flustered? Schedule a time so you are not trying to chat at the very worst moment. Make sure whatever you use to call is fully charged before you get started & that you have wi-fi access and a good connection. You also want to make sure that you choose a space that is low on noise and distractions.
-Celebrate: You don’t have to be gone long to make coming home special. There are many ways to make things special without spending any money. Have a Picnic Party (ahem, dinner on the floor), family dance party when everyone gets home for the day, or bust out something that you usually keep for special occasions like bubble bath, dessert, or extra books before bed.
Everyone’s situation is different and there’s never a one-size fits solution. Whatever your situation, I think most of us can:
-Clearly and regularly communicate the plan (to each other and the kids)
-Make the time you do have together fun and meaningful
-Figure out what works for your family situation in a given season (On the one night we have an activity, we recently transitioned from a crock pot meal that the kids never ate to sandwiches – still quick & easy, now everyone eats).
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