The Secret Life of a Doula On Call

I am sitting in church. When I’m here, I like to be able to completely focused on worship, but today there’s at least part of my brain that is thinking about my phone, where it sits tucked under the edge of my leg.  It’s on vibrate, so I can feel it if I get a message. I’m a doula on call, waiting to hear from my client that she’s gone into labor, and my phone is my constant companion, even here.

The reality is that I’m available for my clients from the minute they sign a contract with me.  If they have their baby earlier than expected or need my presence for some other reason, I’m going to do everything in my power to be there. But something special happens when they reach 37 weeks in their pregnancy: I go on call for them.  So what does that mean?

For one thing, I seriously do take my phone with me everywhere, and I double check it when I go to bed at night, to make sure it’s set so that I can hear it.  My clients are on my “do not disturb” exceptions list, so even when my phone is silent for most people, my clients can always get through. I also give each of them a unique tone, so that I can tell immediately that this is a call or message I want to take right away.

I take care of myself when I’m on call.  I don’t stay up too late or do anything overly strenuous that’s going to leave me wiped out or sore.  I have to be well-rested and feeling strong if I’m going to rub someone’s back all night. I even shower more often, so I can be fresh and ready to go at a moment’s notice. 

I don’t travel when I’m on call, unless I have a special agreement with my client ahead of time.  I don’t go more than an hour away, and if I do go that far, I make sure my doula bag and other birth items are in my call so I can be ready quickly if my client needs me.  Sometimes this means missing out on a family vacation. Sometimes I’ve had to send my husband and kids off on a fun trip, joining them after my client gave birth. It’s just part of the gig.

My family knows the deal by now.  “Have you heard from your baby lady yet?” is a question I often get from one of my teenage boys. My husband mumbles at me just before we fall asleep at night, “You’ve got your phone on, right?” I couldn’t do this if my husband and kids weren’t supportive.  My teenagers can hold down the fort for a few hours if I get called away while their dad is at work. And my husband jumps in and picks up my slack while I’m gone, and then he makes sure I have time to recover after I get home.

My friends know I’m a doula. They know that “if I’m not at a birth” goes without saying when we’re making plans. I used to be afraid to make plans of any kind during my on-call times, but since they are a five week block on my calendar (from three weeks before my clients’ estimated due dates until two weeks after), I would end up missing out on a LOT of things. So, I’ve learned just to make my plans anyway, knowing that every once in a while I will miss something.  And I’ve found that I don’t miss very much. 

And thank goodness for backup doulas!  I have been very lucky to always have at least one doula in the area that I could contract for a backup for my clients. I back them up as well; we help each other out that way.  None of us wants our clients to be without the support they need if we’re sick or have some other emergency when they go into labor. Sometimes I take clients with due dates close together.  (I always make sure they know this before they sign my contract.) My backup doulas give me and my clients peace of mind. It’s like having doula insurance.

On a different day, I’m at home, asleep in bed.  The sunlight is just starting to peek around the edge of my curtains. I hear that special tone telling me my client is texting.  I reach for my glasses and my phone. She’s having a few contractions. Could this be the day? I’m going to give her a call so I can hear what she sounds like.  (Can she talk through a contraction?  How does she sound emotionally?) My brain goes over the schedule for today.  Do I need to cancel any appointments? I talk with her a minute on the phone. Her contractions seem to be fading away for now. She’s feeling a little stressed, because she was hoping this was going to be “it”.  I remind her that all of these contractions are moving towards the goal of meeting her baby, and even if it isn’t today, we know it will be soon. And whenever it is, I will be ready.