Have you ever looked on Pinterest at infant schedules? They were my gold during pregnancy. I would spend hours upon hours looking at suggested wake times and bedtimes, because duh, like any good mom I planned on scheduling every second of my child’s day.
My daughter was born in August of 2108 and right away I could tell we were going to be adversaries on the whole “Schedule” thing. You see, according to my research (and there was A LOT of research) she was supposed to be awake for a maximum of 45 minutes per wake period. That was perfect, except an hour after waking up she was looking at me and giving me those gassy grins.
Thats right! I was #blessed with the “Oh my, she is so young to be so alert!” infant. My stress level was at a maximum. I’m not exactly a “go with the flow” kind of gal, I’m more of a plan every minute for the next five to ten years type of lady. If you think I’m kidding, you should see my research on preschools in the Auburn-Opelika area (my daughter is currently 5 months old). To say I’m the Monica Gellar of my friend group would, is a rough understatement.
When I vented my frustrations of the newborn who wasn’t tired when I wanted her to be tired to my mother, she told me to chill. Hahahahahahhaha no. She was going to get on a schedule, the schedule I pinned to be exact, and she was going to like it.
I spent the next few months endlessly staring at the digital clock on our microwave. I rocked a screaming baby at exactly one hour and fifteen minutes after she had awakened (because that’s what the schedule people told me to do-if your child isn’t sleepy, try again in fifteen minutes) When I finally did get her to go to sleep, I spent the entire time I should have spent relaxing and regrouping for our next go around, glancing at that stupid clock. Every. Five. Minutes. Because, God forbid she sleep too long and then we’re off schedule!
My mom recently came to visit again. When my daughter was napping, she told me once again to chill. Her exact quote was “You’ve been staring at that clock ever since you sat back down.” I’ll be honest, I was at the end of my rope mentally. After she left I decided to give her method a try. After all the worst thing that could happen would be nothing would change.
Except it DID. I let go of the clock and even though its only been a short time, my life is so much better. Now, I’m not advocating for common sense completely flying out the window. I would never let her take a 5 hour nap during the day, and I make sure there’s no napping past 6 p.m. so we’re ready for bed, when the time comes.
I know my daughters signs of tiredness and hunger, and I respond accordingly. Who cares if its 7:05 p.m. instead of 7:00 p.m. exactly when she has her final bottle? (Me. I did. I’m that uptight.) Sure there are times she’s up a tad bit too long, or the bottles aren’t mixed when she starts gnawing at her pacifier, like a giraffe, but as a whole we’re surviving without a schedule.
As they say, A tiger can’t change its stripes. I’m still uptight and regimented in schedules, and I’m still struggling with being more relaxed. I accept this about myself. If you’re anything like me, letting go of a schedule is HARD. So what did I do instead? I started a routine.
Our routine is pretty simple. It’s us doing the same type of activity at roughly the same time frame of day. Ours looks like this:
wake up/ diaper change/ get ready for the day
cartoon and swing while mom has coffee (cause lets face it, this day ain’t happening without coffee)
bottle/ playtime
nap
lunch/ outings and errands
playtime
nap
playtime
bottle/ bath/ bed
As you can see, it is a pretty bare-bones schedule. Our day starts and ends the same way, and I try to make outings happen after her first nap. This way my daughter knows what to expect, even though there is no real schedule and every day is slightly different. Letting go of the clock has allowed me to enjoy my time with my daughter (and my time without her – shout out to nap time and This Is Us) without constantly stopping to check the time to make sure we are on schedule.
So, if you’re struggling with a Type A personality and a child that won’t comply, take my advice. Take a deep breath, grab a glass of wine, and try a routine instead. Keep an idea of how you want your day to go, but let go of specific times. You and your baby will be a lot happier if you do.
