When I found out we were expecting our son, I was so excited. There was so much to learn as I began this new journey of motherhood. I have a Type A personality, so naturally I “did my homework” to be as prepared as I possibly could for the new baby. I read the books, searched for blogs, asked for advice, and tried my best to learn all that I could about parenting. I was excited, but also nervous. I knew that this would be a learning curve for me because I had never really been around babies. I didn’t know anything about feeding times or nap schedules, I had no clue how to change a diaper. Through my “research,” I learned there are vastly different perspectives on parenting, and trust me, people sure do have their opinions! There was so much to read about breast vs. bottle, cry it out vs. cosleeping, swaddling vs. sleep sacks, the list goes on and on. Although I did learn a lot about these topics, it didn’t take long for me to realize that taking care of a child is much more than doing your homework and being prepared for the test. I know I prepared as well as I could, but research can only prepare you so much. Experience is a much better teacher. Being a new mother who loves to have control over any and every detail of life, I have been on a journey of learning these past 10 months and I would like to share what I’ve learned. I hope you’ll get an idea about how I Parent in the Unexpected.
1. I can’t control everything, only God can.
I did my research, read the blogs, asked for the advice, but none of those things could tell me exactly what type of child I would have. I could never know that my child would need surgery before his first birthday, that he would have to take medicine twice a day, or that he would be walking before he turned 9 months old! God is the only one who knows all these things. Those first few months were definitely an anxious time, but now instead of continuing to worry about what’s next, I choose to spend my days thanking God for the gift of His son, Jesus, and trusting Him to work out my fear and anxiety about the unknowns in parenting. It certainly is easier said than done, but the closer I am with Jesus, the easier I find it to be to trust Him when there is so much unknown.
2. Children are a blessing to be cherished.
I waited for a long time to have a baby, what seemed like ages, although in reality, it was much shorter. We wanted children sooner, but I dealt with the reality that biological children may not be something we get to enjoy. During this time of waiting, the Lord strengthened my faith and caused me to grow in my relationship with Him. When I finally received my sweet little blessing, it was more special to me because of the waiting. Even during the unexpected sleepless nights, difficult nursing sessions, and crazy post-partum hormones, God has shown me in the stillness of that moment, what a sweet miracle Jackson is for our family.
3. I am not a perfect mom.
Okay, so this one is not a shocker, because no one can be perfect, but during the pregnancy period, I told myself so many things about how I wanted life to be like once Jackson was here. I couldn’t control most of those things, and I learned that there is no “perfect” scenario. I had idolized what I thought motherhood and parenting would look like, but truth be told, all of those ideas were just ways for my mind to cope with the unknown and make a plan for my future. Now that I have my sweet little 10 month old, I know that each passing day is going to be different. Jackson is constantly growing and learning new things, which also means that he is changing very quickly and far too quickly for me to keep up with my “perfect.” Now that I know there is no such a thing as perfect planning, I can be free to make mistakes and adapt with my family to meet our needs and enjoy life together without being so controlling and worried about what’s next.
