I am not sure that anyone can properly prepare another person for postpartum, until they actually go through it on their own. Nonetheless, it is my life mission to help every woman and friend I know to be better prepared for postpartum than I was. I do not have sisters and was one of the first people in my group of close friends to have a baby. Thus, I felt like I was struck by the newness of everything. If ‘postpartum coach’ was a job, I would have it.
I had both of my babies vaginally, with the help of epidurals. I also nursed both of my babies – the first one until she was twelve months and the second until he was eighteen months. These are some tips from my experiences. Remember, everyone has different experiences and perspectives. I hope these can be helpful.
Tips for expecting momma:
- You will cry. It is okay. This is “normal.” I remember sitting at the table eating lunch with my husband a couple of days after we got home. I looked at him mid sandwich bite and just started sobbing. He immediately asked, “What is wrong?!” To which, I stated, “I don’t know, I just love her so much. I don’t want to be a terrible mom or let her down.” The amazing rush of love that hormones cause is beautiful. Scary at times, yet beautiful.
- Nursing is hard. NO ONE prepared me for how painful it would be in the beginning. There were many times I wanted to give up, but I was determined to make it work. If you do not want to continue, that is okay too!! Latching was difficult at first, so I would literally hold my husband’s hand while the baby latched. Y’all… I think I may have some PTSD from that experience. However, the amazing ladies in lactation showed me how to get her to properly latch and it got much easier from that point. I am not lying when I say that nursing was more painful for me than delivery or recovery from birth. However, if I can do it, you can do it too!
- Stay on top of your meds. I did not ever take pain medication. My births were not very painful or traumatic. (Praise hands!) However, I did take the ibuprofen and acetaminophen as told. Once home, I think it is easy to be caught up in caring for the baby, making sure you are getting enough sleep, etc. Don’t forget to set a timer to continue taking your medicine. The couple of times I forgot, I paid for it and was extra sore.
- Ask for help. Whether it be your significant other, family, friends, church, co-workers, ask for help. There is someone that wants to help you. Not asking for help is keeping someone from sharing their gifts with you.
- Get out of the house. Once you are able to, get out of the house. This looks different for everyone depending on their comfort level. Maybe it is a stroll around the neighborhood… or a drive thru trip to get coffee or lunch… or baby wearing for a grocery trip… get out. This will not only help your body physically, but also emotionally. I remember the paralyzing fear and anxiety it caused me after my first baby to get out. However, I can tell you that if your baby cries in public, it will not bother anyone as much as it bothers you. You are that baby’s momma and you will be able to comfort him/her. True story: My two month old once lost it in Publix and the fine folks there literally unloaded all of my groceries onto the belt, scanned them, bagged them, walked them to my car for me so that I could take care of her. Go back and read the part about asking for help. People want to help.
Tips for people wanting to love on a new momma postpartum:
- Take her a meal. Ask her if there are any food preferences. It does not have to be home cooked. It can be take out. She will enjoy it regardless.
- Give her a gift. Everyone is always giving gifts for the baby. Let’s celebrate the woman that just birthed a baby! One of my favorite memories is a friend coming to see me in the hospital after I had my first baby. She brought me a travel mug that was personalized with my monogram on one side and “Girl Mom” on the other side, also included was an oversized t-shirt with “Mom Life is the Best Life” on it. This was truly the sweetest gift and is still something I think about often. That t-shirt will always be one of my favorites.
- Reach out. Text her. Send her a card in the mail. Do not stop by unannounced. However, let her know you are there, that way she will reach out to you if she needs you.
- Offer to keep the baby. Not every momma is going to be willing to allow you to do this immediately postpartum. That is okay. However, offering to keep the baby to allow momma and significant other to have a date night, or to get a pedicure/manicure, or to take a shower or nap, or to just eat a meal in peace, will be treasured.
My favorite gift to give to an expecting momma is a postpartum basket. Again, everyone celebrates the baby. But, let’s celebrate momma! This is where I put all of the things that a mom may want or need into a basket and give it to her. Some things are fun… other things are necessary. I am going to give a list of some of the things I have put in them.
- Loose, comfy pajamas
- Pads
- Dermaplast spray
- Snacks
- Gatorade/Body Armor/Powerade
- Blanket
- Small bottle of Ibuprofen
- Tucks
- Mylicon Drops (for baby)
- Flushable Wipes
Just keep juggling momma, you got this! It may be the hardest thing, but it will be the best thing!
