When A Mama Says “I’m Tired”

Mothers are held to an unbelievably unobtainable standard. It is unreal the amount of pressure mothers are put under when it comes to their homes, their children, their careers, or their relationships. Society wants mothers to be well-rounded. They need to be active and healthy. They need to be gourmet cooks. They need to raise perfectly behaved children. They need to have perfect marriages. They need to have spotless houses. The list goes on and on.

Mothers already wear the weight of the world on their shoulders. They juggle the schedules, wants, needs, and to do lists of everyone in their household. They so often put everyone’s needs before their own. Mothers worry about their spouses, children, houses, finances, friends, and so much more. Not to mention the expectations society sets for who and what they should be. After carrying these responsibilities and worries around for so long, it can ultimately end in physical, mental, and emotional exhaustion. So, when a mama says that she’s tired, it’s not just that she needs a nap or an early bed time (although those would certainly help), it means that she has been stretched far too thin and needs something much more than sleep to restore her mind and body.

A mama says “I’m tired” when there’s too much else to say or explain. It’s so often a cry for help that most people don’t hear. She’s probably worried how she’s feeling will be judged or brushed off. For a lot of mamas, it’s really hard to ask for the help that they need. Some moms might feel guilt or shame in asking for help because they feel they should be able to juggle it all on their own. As one of these moms sometimes I wish someone would text me and ask if they could bring dinner out to us one night or if they could come over for an hour to keep my son occupied so I could nap or get some things done around the house. I wish someone would bring me a coffee or some Chick-Fil-A. I wish someone would tell me to go walk around Target or take a bath for a long as I needed to in order to feel like myself again. I have such a hard time asking for the things I want and need because I feel so much guilt in needing a break from my day to day life from time to time. I really just want someone to step in and do something for me.

So, my plea for you is: if you’re a friend, sister, coworker, etc. to a mother, reach out to her. Really check in with her. Dive in to what is really going on. If she says she’s tired, ask her what’s really going on and offer to do something to help her. Even if it’s as small as bringing her a coffee or a meal for her to enjoy while it’s still warm. Even if it’s giving her thirty uninterrupted minutes to take a nap, a shower, or to tackle a chore she can’t do with a baby on her hip. Ask her to take a walk with you so she can get some fresh air. Offer to babysit so her and her husband can have a date night. Ask her if she wants to go out for a girl’s day. Any small thing will be appreciated more than you will ever know.

Now, mamas, my plea for you is find your thing. Find what relaxes you. Find what rejuvenates you. Find what makes you feel like yourself again. Exercise. Take a bath. Go out for coffee with a friend. Take a long stroll through your favorite store. Find something that is for you. It’s okay if it’s for you and for you only. If that is what you need, there is no shame in wanting that. Also, do not be afraid to ask for help. I know it’s hard and I know you feel bad for wanting and needing someone to help, but everyone needs help. Everyone wants help. You are human. You’re doing an amazing job whether you have a spotless house, or you haven’t cleaned in a week. Whether you served your family a five-course meal you slaved over all day, or they ate chicken nuggets and Kraft macaroni and cheese for dinner. Whether your toddler behaved impeccably while grocery shopping, or they had a full-blown temper tantrum in the cereal aisle. No matter what, you are doing a great job. You deserve a break. You deserve a reset. You deserve it. End of story.