A Love Letter to our Daycare

We waited for you.

Two years as a filled cell on a spreadsheet matrix titled ‘Waitlist’. Even though, after three kids, we have spent enough money on you to fund a sizable house payment. You are still worth it and I need to tell you why.

To me, working feels natural. I enjoy the collegiality in hallway conversations and relationships around campus. I even (mostly) enjoy meetings that could have been an e-mail because I love the flow of ideas and energized, professional dialogue. Mothering, however, did not come easily for me in this same way. My baby’s cries were indistinguishable – food, water, dirty diaper, groundhog didn’t see his shadow? How did I suddenly become a baby interpreter and where was my bi-lingual dictionary? I was only sure that crying was a loud and clear signal of my failure. Instead of a confident public speaker, I became a sheepish caregiver who couldn’t remember which side the last ear infection had been on or what the antibiotic was called. Instead of contributing to a team effort, I was adrift in an unwelcome new world of sleep regression and breastfeeding.

Something that soon became obvious: I am a better mother when I go to work. The work I do outside of the home refreshes, grows, and challenges me. I enjoy it and I’m good at it. It’s nice to spend your days feeling competent rather than inept and unsure. But that job I have, the one that I’m good at and really, really enjoy? I couldn’t do that job if I didn’t have you.

Because of you, I can go to work. Because I am able to go to work, the time I have at home and with my kids is better. You are making this possible.

We wouldn’t drop them off with just anyone. They are, as you know, small, sticky pieces of my heart walking down your halls, sitting on your colorful carpets, and running up your playground slides (I promise we don’t let them do that at home). But we trust you. We know you and we love you. Luckily for us, the feeling is mutual.

It is difficult to fully express these feelings in a way that is both appropriate and reasonable. The Teacher Appreciation gift that you deserve is a week’s paid vacation to an exotic location of your choosing.  And someone to do all of your laundry when you get home. I’m aware that a candle from Bath & Body Works is not the same thing. Not even close. But please know, you are seen and appreciated. You are celebrated and prayed for. You are dealing with hard things too, and your life is more than sensory tables and the Moana soundtrack.  You are gifted in a way that I am not, and we are better together.

One day, my kids won’t remember the name of every teacher they had on this hall but they will remember that they felt safe and loved. You are providing them with a structured, age-appropriate learning environment, a strong and solid foundation they will continue to build upon. I will remind my daughter how to be a friend to the new kid in school with a picture from her first day with you. I will remind my son that we first discovered his food allergies because you encouraged us to see an allergist. Long after our daily drop-offs, I will point out to my youngest his first “school” each time we pass. Today I will remind myself that no primo parking spot is as important as a genuine conversation with this incredible human being to whom I am handing my lifeblood for a third of the day.

And one day I will have the joy of explaining to each of them that what every parent needs most is a village and I am so grateful to have you as part of mine.

I love you. I hope you like the candle.

 

With unending appreciation and gratitude for the staff at Auburn First Baptist Child Development Center and all the dedicated loving individuals who make children their life’s work.