Lately I’ve been seeing a lot of posts on social media about people commenting on families. I’ve read countless stories of encounters with old ladies, old men, young moms and dads, and pretty much anyone in between. These stories often end in confusion, anger, and sadness. Why would anyone feel the need to comment on someone else’s family?
Well ladies, I’m here to tell you that your family is perfect just the way it is. I don’t understand why everyone has to have two children, a boy and a girl. Two of one gender? Unacceptable. Only one child? Not enough. 5 Children? Whoa, don’t you know what causes that?!
I’m going to blame a lot of these comments on our southern culture. We’re raised to not only speak to everyone we cross paths with but also to engage in their lives. We’re supposed to be interested and actively participating in a conversation and sometimes that leads to undesired comments.
I find this to be true mostly with the older generations. Younger generations have become more open about fertility struggles, economic difficulties, mental health issues, and various other factors that determine the size of our families. I’m not blaming the older generation, they just simply didn’t talk about these things so they aren’t as sensitive.
The answer here is very simple and it was best said by Thumper in Bambi. “If you don’t have anything nice to say then don’t say anything at all.” Instead of “Are you going to try again for a boy?” say “Your daughters are lovely.” Instead of “When are you going to give him a sibling?” say “I bet your enjoying every stage so much!” and please, don’t say anything about the size of a large family. Yup they know how they got there. It’s a gross comment. “Cute kids” is more than enough if you feel obligated to say anything.
Some might brush this off, saying these words are harmless and people should just move on. But what about the woman who dreamed of having a daughter to have 3 boys instead. She loves being a boy mom but your comment reminded her there will never be bows and glitter in her home. The woman you keep badgering about having another child has been trying for 4 years. It’s not happening, so thanks for reminding her.
So let’s try to not judge families regardless of their size, gender, color, religion, shape, or otherwise. You never know who’s day you might sour by your passive comment in the grocery store line.
