If you knew you only had a year more with that child, what would you expose him to? Where would you go? What would you eat? What would you watch? What would you do? If you only had ONE year, and then it was all over, what would you do? Four seasons. 12 months. 365 days. Do that THIS year. And the next. That’s how unschooling works. By living life as if it were an adventure. As if you only had a limited amount of time with that child. Because that’s the way it IS. – Kelly Dunlap Lovejoy
I recently came across this quote and it has stuck with me. It resounds deep within my spirit, takes my breath away, and brings tears to my eyes. This is the way I want to live my life. Holding the present moment in one hand, and eternity in the other. I’ve had a couple of memorable days this year that I would describe as a day of no regrets. They weren’t especially easy days, or particularly exciting, I was just fully satisfied with every choice that I made and enjoyed precious moments with my family. That’s what I want to aim for in the new year, fewer regrets.
Improving My Emotional Intelligence
Before I had kids I thought of myself as being in control of my emotions, an effective communicator, and, in general, a reasonable and likable person. And then a bunch of kids came along and now I lose my mind daily. Turns out I actually don’t have a very high emotional intelligence. Because of that, I’m taking steps to learn to recognize and manage my own emotions in a healthy way, and hopefully my kids will not only benefit from that, but learn to do that for themselves. Some resources I’m using include:
The Bible – committing to regular study time and prayer.
Family Culture Project which includes a thorough three-part series on emotional intelligence. This is a paid course, but you may be able to catch their free live training on Facebook called Becoming Your Child’s Emotion Coach, which is how I found out about it.
Triggers: Exchanging Parent’s Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical Responses – This book was recommended to me by our family therapist, and I was able to download the audiobook for free through Christianaudio.com. That was only available in the month of November, but you can also access it as an ebook as well as hard copy from various sources.
Exploring The World With My Kids
I don’t have huge travel plans for 2020, but I do want to take some trips that piggyback off my kids’ interests, as well as my own. Some things include riding roller coasters, visiting an aquarium, going to the beach, frequenting the zoo, playing in snow, and spending time with our extended family. I want to take some special one-on-one trips, because it’s easier to travel with just one, and it allows me to focus on each one as an individual. I also hope that by giving them these experiences while they’re young, they’ll be more prepared for travel as they get older and can take longer, more difficult trips. I’m helping to make extra room in our budget for this by doing freelance work for Rev.com.
Everyday Joy
Appreciating the small things that happen in our daily lives is an important component of contentment and living without regrets. Last year, a family member sent me a journal with a note about writing down the “sparkles” from my children. That is, their funny sayings, habits, and activities that bring joy to me and our household. It’s been fun to memorialize some of those things that I can’t quite capture in a quick picture or video from my phone, although those contain many sparkles and I’m grateful for that medium as well. Growing up, my dad was fond of the word, “savor,” generally used as a reminder at the kitchen table when he brought home pizza and my three brothers and I were all quickly eating one piece after another, so as not to be outdone by a sibling and end up with only 2 slices instead of three. But now I know “savor” is less about the pizza, and more about the attitude of contentment. Slow down. Enjoy what’s right in front of you in this moment. Don’t worry about what others have, instead be thankful about what you’ve been given. This year I look forward to savoring more sparkles from my kids as they learn and grow before my eyes. That’s the benefit of unschooling afterall, being together so you don’t miss out on each other’s lives.
